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Monday, February 18, 2013

Secretive Friends

Secretive Friends

During my lengthy life I’ve had many friend relationships of many levels (not to be mistaken with romantic relationships).  During different phases of my life I have enjoyed large numbers of acquaintances, a couple of handfuls of friends (such as co-workers, college buddies etc.). To be sure every progressive level of life brought with it different levels of interaction.

I’ve never spoken to anyone about this subject because like the Vegas commercial, “What Happens Between Friends, Stays between Friends!”  I will qualify this posting by saying that the friendships and circumstances I am about to relate happened a long time ago, and I am not using names to protect the guilty.
Many of my early friends and acquaintances (between ages of 19 and 29) were just getting started in life themselves.  Some were finishing school others were into college working on a degree, and still others were starting new jobs, but all of them male or female had one thing they shared in common; they were all in and or out of relationships.  The acquaintances were the easiest to deal with, if their presence contributed more drama and intrigue, than fun and pleasure, I slowly distanced myself from them.

The friends have always been harder to deal with.  With friends you have more time and emotion invested in them.  Some friends however, are abusive of friend relationships, and sooner or later you have to sit them down and have a serious talk with them.  Some examples of abuses will follow, but first I must say that there is another level of friendship and a few of us are lucky to experience it; that level is the “best friend,” which if properly categorized you will be lucky to have maybe two in a lifetime.
Some very common abuses of the secretive friends are where they have a shaky relationship and they are seeing someone else on the side.  You are perhaps not even aware of the drama, and then you are thrust right in the middle of it, where you are asked to back-up a story about how you spent time out of town with them last weekend.  One experience that totally took me by surprise was when I ran into a good friend at the Mall; he had a very good looking young woman with him that I had never met.  Before we could even be introduced, his live-in girlfriend came out of nowhere, and he quickly introduced the new woman to his live-in girlfriend as my girlfriend.

 I could tell the young woman was livid so I grabbed her hand as we walked away and I gave it a light squeeze indicating for her to keep her temper in check.  I later apologized, for my friend and explained that he was having problems in his relationship. Later that day I got a phone call from my friend where he thanked me for covering for him, and apologized for getting me involved.
My life since I met and married my wife and even before has always been very mellow.  I don’t like unnecessary drama, and I prefer the truth.  I’ve never had to cross the street because someone I owed money to was walking in my direction.  I’ve also never needed a good memory to remember lies I've told.  This posting didn’t cover the story of how you deal with a Best Friend’s deep secret.  Keep a look out for it in the next few postings.  The best is yet to come…..

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