It Is What It Is

It Is What It Is

Have you ever heard the popular saying: “it is what it is.”

It is what it is:

• A cliché, popular within the circles of coaches, business execs, and those of us who just want to say "It's happened. 'I'm going to forget about it. I'm going to move on. There is nothing that can be done about it." 

There are so many things in our families and personal lives that we can change or minimally influence, and then there are some things that try as you may, you just have to let go of, and move on.

Those things that we can’t change we must come to terms with and live with.  One thing in particular that I can think of in my life is the following.  Life takes us all through various stages (examples): graduating from school and attending friends and relative’s celebrations, Attending friends and relatives’ weddings, etc., etc.  However, as we get older and start getting invitations to retirements, it seems that our social calendar also starts filling up with invitations to memorial and celebration of life services.

One of my friends soon notice my apparent deliberate absence from friend and coworker memorial services, and pulled me aside about 10 years ago.  Because I loved and respected this friend, I embraced the question and his input.  When asked, the why, I honestly answered that I never knew what to say to people that were grieving the loss of a loved one.

My friend explained that people were not expecting soothing words from me and that my presence alone would be lending the support they needed. I have attended many services since then, and have gained as much as I have given by my presence.  Facing up to this one thing that was causing me discomfort has definitely turned into a blessing.

One other “it is what it is,” situation for many people it's either their appearance or even voice or both.  Your voice will always sound different recorded or amplified compared to what you think you sound like.  With regard to appearance some people hate participating in photo opportunities because they don’t like how they come out.  Here definitely, it is what it is!  As I like to say, “What you see is what you get.”  What you see that you don’t like in photos is what everyone else sees day in and day out.  Your recorded or amplified voice is what others hear every day.  Just roll with the punches and enjoy life.  The best is yet to come……

Pluses and Minuses

Pluses and Minuses

I still remember like if it was yesterday, how incredibly nice and empowering it is (was) to be young and have things going your way.  I was in my early twenties starting a family studying and held a job in mid management.  Among my passions, I lived for driving my muscle cars which I upgraded on average every 18 months.

In today’s socio-economic environment I feel bad for my children that they didn’t get to have the kind of easy going life that people my age enjoyed.  Yet, I am so proud of their accomplishment, and ability to handle the challenges that come their way on a daily basis. 

Pluses:

One parent got to stay home and guide the children through their formative years. There was abundant work to be done (no exaggeration here) The only way you didn’t make a living is if you were ill or were otherwise plain lazy.  You didn’t have to pay gym membership because there was plenty of physical activity to be involved in, you drove into town and parked your car and walked to every store to shop or pay bills.  Family activities were almost always outdoors: biking, hiking, baseball, game of tag, and so much more.

Minuses:

We didn’t have the internet, or the electronics (iPads, iPods, cell phones).  Our knowledge was still there to be gained, just at a slower pace (encyclopedia vs Google).  You always had to have coins in your pocket in case you had to use a payphone while in town.  Dating was so much less risky back then. Today you could end up dead if you hook up with the wrong person (illness).  Today a college degree doesn’t guarantee you a job or better yet a career.  In the old days even without a high school diploma, as long as you had a strong back you could support a family.

That is just the surface of the Pluses and Minuses, if you are willing to give it some thought you can come up with so much more.  Today I constantly get an earful about how fast food service doesn’t pay enough to support a family; DUH, it was never meant to!  With higher pay will come higher cost fast food, can you imagine McDonald’s selling value meals at gourmet priced hamburgers?

That job was meant for people transitioning between, high school and college or perhaps transitioning between living at home in mom and dad’s basement and sharing an apartment with a friend.  Bottom line:  it’s a vicious circle, if you raise the pay to make it a livable wage, better qualified people will apply and compete for the fast food jobs, you will also have to compete with robotics (if for no other reason), because they don’t complain about long hours and or better pay.  The best is yet to come……………

Surprise At Every Turn

Surprise At Every Turn

Do you remember a time when you felt in control of most aspects of your life?  Perhaps I am unique and no one else ever felt that way.  A possibility but doubtful.  Even if raised in poverty I believe it's human nature to be optimistic.  I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but thanks to the love and nurturing of my parents, I had all my needs and many wants.

Special treatment growing up didn't set me up for false expectations, but did encourage me to strive for attainable realistic successes (goal outcomes).

Two key words so far are "optimistic and realistic."

Optimistic

• someone who is optimistic is hopeful about the future and tends to expect that good things will happen
• optimistic about: She said that she was optimistic about the future of the company.
• be/remain optimistic that: I remain optimistic that a peaceful settlement of the dispute can be achieved.

Synonyms and related words

• Feeling hopeful and optimistic: the glass is half full (empty), hopeful, optimistic...

Realistic

• The definition of realistic is someone who has a good grip on the reality of a situation and understands what can and cannot be done, something that is a practical, achievable idea, or something that resembles the actual truth about life.
• An example of realistic is a person who knows his own limitations and isn't going to expect to be an amazing opera singer when he can't even carry a tune.
• An example of realistic is having a steady job that pays a monthly amount and realizing that you have to keep your budget within the constraints of your pay.  In other words, don't plan on a 30-day vacation at a 5-star resort if you budget can't handle the expense.

Because of my love for my country I am optimistic that we will survive the political turmoil that we find ourselves in, evidenced by the 100s of thousands of demonstrators in our country and around the world.

I won't admit to what side I stand on, but it doesn't matter.  Even a blind person can see that we are a country with its citizens divided.  One side sees the country in need of being saved from self-destruction to include carnage.  The other side sees a country in need of improvement from within and by the people themselves.

I am optimistic enough to know that we have survived times in our history worse than what we are going through right now, three examples are: 1) two world wars plus other undeclared wars possibly worse, 2) The Great Depression of the 1920s. 3) the assassinations of presidents.  Believe me when I say that many books can be written about all the bad times that our country has survived.

I am realistic enough to know that the ship won't right itself, we will need to roll-up our sleeves and put our shoulder to the wheel.  I consider what's happening in our country a wakeup call.  Many of us have become complacent, and confident that our country will continue to be great on Auto-Pilot, not so my friends.  You can interpret this post anyway you want, just don’t take your eye off of the desired outcomes.  The best is yet to come……….

Life and Building Bridges

Life and Building Bridges

I consider myself a very optimistic person, however, I would debate with anyone that our state of society is at its best ever.  You would almost have to be in my age group in order to look at society in our life span and compare apples to apples.

For starters, survival skills are one thing and survival instincts are yet another and not to be confused with one and the other.

Survival skills:  The ability to hunt for food, grow your own food, fix your own car, start a fire without matches (or lighters), how to navigate without a compass or GPS, build a raft, make your own home repairs, etc., etc.

Survival instincts:  the ability to read people, to anticipate a confrontation and how to avoid it or deescalate it, knowing when to take action or when to compromise, assessing the unseen dangers (example: undercurrent in a stream or river, making split second decisions, etc., etc.

Many of the skill that we developed in the 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s was the difference between success and failure, but today our society for the most part consider those to be the skills of dinosaurs (unimportant or at the very least antiquated), and unnecessary. 

Today’s younger generations are so dependent on technology that if a power outage takes place they are dead in the water.  Have you ever seen a young retail clerk struggle to make change for a dollar when their cash register fails?  We are so dependent on GPS that if you go into an area of limited or no cellphone signal a young person can’t find their way around because even if they had a street map they wouldn’t be able to read it.

How about the wonderful communication skills (writing or reading) of our youth due to their prevalent use of texting?  The youth are not the only ones to blame, the educational systems in some States are dropping the required cursive writing, because it is no longer needed or relevant.  The unskilled educated can’t grasp the big picture:  Who is going to translate or decipher our historical records (documents) in the future.  Cursive writing may as well be a foreign language to any one that is proficient in, WTF, LOL, LMAO, etc., etc.

My children and grandchildren are still being raised the way I was raised.  I insist in teaching them the old survival instincts, and skills, and even more important, I am teaching them to be competitive.  In other words, there are winners and there are losers, we all need to strive to prevail (win).  Nothing wrong with 2^nd place but 1^st place is the objective.

When my children use to complain to my wife that life wasn’t fair, their mother’s gentle response was “build a bridge and get over it.”  If you didn’t get that saying, it's ok, it took my children a few times to get the real meaning also.  My grandchildren don’t only get it, but I hear them saying it amongst themselves now and they are still young.  The best is yet to come…….

To P or not to P

To P or not to P

I was on the freeway recently driving and listening to the news on the radio (which I almost never do anymore).  Ever since digital music came along and I can take a large playlist with me, the radio has become obsolete, for me anyway. 

Amongst many topics being discussed there was a discussion on the subject of aggressive panhandling by the homeless population of a city in the State of Washington.  I won’t mention the city but I will say that it wasn’t Seattle.  Don’t get me wrong, Seattle has many problems including a large population of homeless people.  The topic was news worthy because the administration of the particular city was taking steps to deal with the aggressive panhandlers that was driving customers away from the downtown area.

An audio clip of a public hearing was played and a (obvious) homeless activist raised his voice above all others to make the point that there was no restrooms available for the homeless to take care of business.  He pointed out that the merchants didn’t allow non-customers to use their facilities.

I could easily advocate for both sides of the argument.  I have seen the mess that can be left behind when a homeless person uses a merchant’s facility to give themselves a sponge bath and a shave.  I have also seen a merchant threaten to call the police when a couple of men or more locked themselves in a restaurant restroom and leave only after the police threat while leaving behind needles and other drug paraphernalia.

That short radio broadcast got me to thinking about a different scenario.  For those of us that can afford to take in the occasional sporting event costing $150 plus or perhaps a rock concert.  We are pretty confident and comfortable that we can take care of ourselves if Mother Nature should call unexpectedly while we are out and about.

What would be the outcome if we are in a large city (15k population or much larger) and our car gets stolen with our wallet and cell phone in it.  Perhaps we get mugged or pick pocketed and we find ourselves without our precious credit cards and identification.  If you are anything like me, I seldom carry paper money on me (mostly because I have children and grandchildren).

In the case of a scenario like the one described, we are not much better than a homeless person.  I am so dependent on my cellular telephone that I don’t know anyone’s phone number not even my wife or children’s numbers.  I’m not sure that I could tell you what my phone number is.  Even if we did have phone numbers, you can no longer go to the corner pay phone in most cities.

Imagine if you found yourself in downtown Seattle of San Francisco and you wanted to do #1 or worst yet #2, but you don’t have money to buy even a pop or a cup of tea.  You could end up under arrest for relieving yourself at some street corner or even alley.  I realize that I just created a problem out of the blue for me and you.  However, that is an everyday problem for the homeless population in larger cities.  I keep mentioning larger cities because the smaller towns don’t have the homeless population associated with the cities, and besides pretty much any merchant in a small town would offer you the use of their facility, or even offer you a free meal.

I’m sorry to say that I am not offering a solution, just a possible problem.  One solution might be to try to remember a handful of important telephone numbers.  As for Mother Nature calling, Depends (no pun intended).  The best is yet to come……