Window Cleaning Time

How's your view?

Even at my point in life I still find myself at times having to slow down so I can digest the information before me.  It’s easy to jump to conclusions without having the whole picture or all the facts.  If a person has a conscience you will later find yourself agonizing over things you said or did that you can’t take back. 

When raising your own family you can almost always use the final argument “because I said so.”  Anytime I was addressing my children’s safety and/or health and unable to come up with an argument for why they couldn’t or shouldn’t do something, because I said so was the argument that ended all arguments on my side of the ledger. Whether I get the full picture are not health and safety are foremost and I tend to err on the side of safety.

At some time or another we probably all heard the old saying about seeing the world through “rose colored glasses.”

Meaning: If someone sees things through rose colored glasses, they see things as being better than they really are.

For example:

• Tina
  sees things through rose-colored glasses, so when things aren't going very well, she won't do anything to improve the situation.
  
  
• If you have the courage and maturity to see things as they really are, you'll no longer need to see things through rose-colored glasses. ~ English Club

Negativity on the other hand is the art of finding flaws in all things.  Negative people are not fun to be around.  Whenever you engage a negative person on purpose or accidentally they will almost always hijack a conversation and take it in a negative direction.  Eventually, you and your social gathering will try hard to avoid a known negative individual.

Make sure you are seeing any and all situations clearly.

·       A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean; she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap. “Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments. A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: "Look, she's finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this. "

·       The husband replies, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." And so it is with life... What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look. ~ Author unknown

Negativity almost always hinders people, it's just viscerally unpleasant to be around someone who's injecting unpleasant emotions and vibes into every conversation. It's not that their points are never valid, but it wears people down to always be subjected to that perspective. Let’s try to always look on the bright side of things.  Start with a good attitude and make sure that you looking through the right prism.  The best is yet to come……

Contradiction in terms (Social Network)

Contradiction in terms (Social Network)

The ideal circle of friends varies by individual’s needs and ability to maintain.  Before the advent of what is the accepted Social Network of modern times (Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc., etc.), a social network was your circle of friends and relatives.  Friends and relatives are not like an item that you can send to storage and bring it out when you need it.  Some friends and relatives are needy, others are clingy, and In any case all require a level of maintenance.

The better the friend and or relative the less maintenance he or she needs.  It, however, requires a very smart and astute individual to be able to know which level is which, and then, the level of maintenance that you employ can and is a reflection of the kind of friend that you are.  As an example, if you ignore one of your good friends or relatives because you’ve determined that this is one of the good ones that don’t require a lot of maintenance, how are you being perceived?  Are you being categorized as one of the good ones or are you one of the not so good ones because you don’t actively nurture the relationship.

A good person (friend or relative) should minimally call or email a person considered a friend (or relative) at least every month or two, just to say how are you and how are you doing (more often depending on age or health conditions).

With regard to the modern Social Network the contradiction lies in the fact that some of the loneliest people are the type that are most drawn to it.  Imagine a person (possibly bordering on being an introvert), small circle of friends if any, and seldom attends celebratory events (parties) because of shyness.  All of a sudden they discover Facebook, a place where you can be as active as you want to be, and no one can put pressure on you to do other than as much as you want to do.  You can even decide to delete your page and no one will call you are knock on your door to see why you dropped out.  Soon you discover that you can even share your opinion without consequences because you are not held accountable.  You can even be the opposite of who you are, you can be a social butterfly.  You have the opportunity to re-invent yourself.

For some the social network can be a magnification of who they already are, and for others it is an escape from reality, and the opportunity to further remove yourself from interacting socially with real friends and relatives.  Lately I’ve heard people asking about someone and the responds most often heard is she is around I saw one of her posts on Facebook the other day.

Another contradiction is that many of the (selfies) pictures posted are either photo-shopped or of better years gone by (usually as many as 20 years).  With the old traditional circle of friends, you really knew the individuals you were interacting with and even sharing a cup of coffee with.  The new social circle includes deception at many levels and even the cups of coffee shared are virtual.

There is also the tendency to want to share all your problems on the social network because it garners you minimally sympathy and understanding (sometimes even money).  There have been instances where people have faked having a terminal illness and received large sums of money, sent by well-meaning individuals.

I am not anti the modern social network but like in everything else in life, I would recommend caution.  A very large world has just been invited to your home through the miracle of the internet, and that includes; criminals, scammers and other fakes.  With a little bit of caution you can make the Social Network a satisfying experience.  The best is yet to come….