Silver Lining

Silver Lining

This year (2016) even more so than other recent challenging years, seems to be affecting a larger portion of the United States population than ever.  Whether it be the internet false news phenomena, the post truth era being discussed on news programs, the election, the Russian hacking, terrorism acts, WikiLeaks, are any of numerous other distraction/events going on in society.  To one degree or another everyone is being affected.

Silver lining

·       Use the term silver lining when you want to emphasize the hopeful side of a situation that might seem gloomy on the surface.

• ·      The common expression "every cloud has a silver lining" means that even the worst events or situations have some positive aspect. 
•     You are most likely to remind a sad or discouraged friend that there is a silver lining as a way of cheering him up. 
•     The origin of the phrase seems to be John Milton's 1634 poem "Comus," which includes the line, "Was I deceived? or did a sable cloud/Turn forth her silver lining on the night?"

Where do I start?  Campaign 2016, whether you are a Republican or Democrat, whether you voted for any of the candidates or none.  The results are what they are.  At this point it no longer matters if you are happy with the outcome or not. The results are in.  The Silver lining?  It seems that many in the country have been clamoring for change, well, hang onto your hat because change is here.  One of my favorite sayings is, be careful what you wish for.  Wishes and prayer have one distinctive thing in common:  They seldom manifest themselves exactly as you imagined them.  

Many of our politicians seem to get comfortable once elected, and almost immediately forget who sent them into office.  Furthermore, they start campaigning for reelection as quickly as they start their term.  Slightly more than 16 years ago our senators and congressmen/congresswomen started stonewalling instead of passing legislation. On that note I agree that we are way overdue for cleaning up the slate. 

I pray for positive changes.  My idea of change is to analyze the problem and repair or replace the broken parts “only.”  It’s seems that we are headed in the direction of discarding all that we have in place and starting over from scratch whether and improvement is made or not, only time will tell.  Just join me in praying daily for good results.

All the other problems and concerns can directly or indirectly be attributed to our country’s leadership and direction.  Please always remember that I am remaining out of the political sides.  I vote at every election, but like in anyone’s case, that is my right and duty, and shall remain confidential.  I don’t want to influence anyone to my way of thinking.  I just want to encourage my readers to continue to stay involve.  The best is yet to come…….

Locker Room Banter (NOT)

A real locker room talk

Seems that lately “Locker Room Banter” is dominating the news media and it makes me wonder where I’ve been growing up.  Enough people are coming forward to attest that that is exactly how men behave when women (and/or young ladies) are not around.  One person I saw in the news went as far as to accuse the female reporter: “that is exactly how women behave and talk over a glass of white wine.”

I tried to recollect all the occasions when I found myself in a locker room or office setting with male friends outside of the hearing range of women, and was unable to come up with anything that compared to the locker room banter presently in the news.  I do remember where one coworker tried bragging about his caveman approach to women, and I and most of the males in the room walked away and eventually shunned that person from our gatherings.

There is the one time where I unwillingly became involved in a prank (played on me) that went so bad as to almost break up a marriage.  I was on my third year into a mid-management position with one of the larger corporations in its industry.  The business was linen supply, and we handled the supply of linens to hotels, and restaurants, as well as, industrial uniforms to auto dealerships, gas stations, hospitals, etc., etc.

I was already successful enough to indulge in my passion for muscle cars.  If I must be honest I loved the second glances that my car got everywhere I went.  One day after work I was driving home on a beautiful sunshiny summer day (beach resort town in California), when I stopped at a crosswalk to let people have the right-of-way.  The people at the crosswalk were staring at my car and laughing almost hysterically while pointing at the front end of my car.  It bothered me so much that as soon as I could I pulled into the parking lot of a Frosty Freeze to see what it was they were pointing at.

I couldn’t believe what I saw, hanging from the front license plate was a very large bra (I don’t really know bra sizes) but it was abnormally large.  I quickly removed it and put it in the trunk of my car to try to determine who at work would have done that to me.  It’s not at all unusual to see men’s and women’s undergarment come into the linen plant with the bags of soiled (dirty) linen from hotels.  So I immediately thought of my coworkers.

The very next day at a coffee break one person quickly asked me if anything exciting happened to me when I got home.  Naturally I said no.  I asked should something have happened?  The Sales Manager couldn’t contain himself because he thought he was so slick, and that I would get in trouble when I got home.  He figured someone must have removed it before I saw it.  First chance I had I took that bra and placed it in the glove box of his car.  The sales manager (we shall call Larry) was a very nice almost shy kind of person.  He loved and feared/respected his wife and they had a little girl about 3 years old.  His wife was a high level bank executive, and dressed like Jackie Onassis (gloves included).  The car Larry drove was an Avocado green Ford Gran Torino.

The months went by and nothing was ever said about the extra-large bra so I assumed that like me he just got rid of it and moved on.  Approximately four months later I heard while on a coffee break that Larry and his wife were separated and getting divorced.  I went to Larry immediately and told him that I had just heard about the separation.  I asked him what the cause might be.  He explained that he didn’t know but that his wife was accusing him of messing around without providing him with proof.

I went directly to the bank where his wife worked, and asked to see her.  After about a 20-minute wait I was escorted to her office.  She greeted me very professionally, and I wasted no time in telling her that she was making a big mistake in divorcing Larry.  She explained that while she appreciated my attempt at intervention, she didn’t involve outsiders into her personal affairs.  I asked her if her separation was brought about by a lacey large black bra placed in the car of his glove box.  She reacted with anger in her facial features, and asked me how I knew.  I explained how the whole incident started with a prank being played on me.

Since she hadn’t told her husband the details of her suspicions, she knew that he and I couldn’t have shared information.  To make a long story short Larry and his wife made up but I lost a possible friend since his wife prohibited her husband from socializing with me because I was such a terrible influence.  My lesson at that early age was that acting like school boys playing pranks could have life changing outcomes.  As far as I know Larry never even found out about the large bra that I placed in his glove box.  Boys will be boys is not a good enough excuse for misbehavior or even locker room banter. The best is yet to come….

One Amongst Many

05/29/2017 - 11/22/1963

John Fitzgerald "Jack" Kennedy (May 29, 1917 – November 22, 1963), commonly referred to by his initials JFK, was an American politician who served as the 35thPresident of the United States from January 1961 until his assassination in November 1963. ~Wikipedia

• Kennedy was the youngest man ever elected to the presidency, succeeding the man who, at the time, was the oldest. He symbolized—as he well realized—a new generation and its coming-of-age. He was the first president born in the 20th century, the first young veteran of World War II to reach the White House. John Hersey’s powerful account of Kennedy’s wartime bravery, published in The New Yorker in 1944, helped him launch his political career.

• In shaping his legend, Kennedy’s personal charm helped. A witty and articulate speaker, he seemed built for the age of television. To watch him on film today is to be struck by the power of his presence and the wit and elegance of his oratory. His celebrated inaugural address was filled with phrases that seemed designed to be carved in stone, as many of them have been. Borrowing a motto from his prep-school days, putting your country in place of Choate, he exhorted Americans: “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” ~ ALAN BRINKLEY

I am committed to writing about this very special man every opportunity I have for the purpose of keeping his memory alive so that we can at the same time maintain a point of focus for the sake of comparison.  We must never forget what a great and civil society we once were.  Because as long as we remember, we may be able to find our way back.  The best is yet to come……….

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is bliss definition

• Not knowing something is often more comfortable than knowing it.                                   
• Note: This proverb resembles “What you don't know cannot hurt you.” It figures in a passage from “On a Distant Prospect of Eton College,” by the eighteenth-century English poet Thomas Gray: “Where ignorance is bliss, / ‘Tis folly to be wise.’”

As I catch campaign 2016 commercials on the television’s various networks, I harken back to the good old days when politicians had a touch of class and decency (sorry for the use of an oxymoron).

Nothing happens today especially on the campaign trail that doesn’t get immediate exposure on the internet.  Even television networks find themselves leading from behind because everyone is tweeting, and otherwise posting to the social media (Facebook).

Back in the days before the internet, an illegal activity could be taking place in the next block from your residence and you might never hear of it, except for maybe a nosey neighbor that might be known for spreading gossip.  Regularly cases were exposed where a husband or wife might be having an affair on the opposite side of town (population 15,000 and bigger) and no one would be the wiser, they might even live in total bliss not knowing of the betrayal.

I recall that when I was involved in my career (28 years), my office would be on the West Side of the State, and my area of responsibility was on the East Side of the State.  I was on the road on average 2500 miles per month, and was away from home anywhere from 3 to 4 days, and sometimes the whole week.  One unscrupulous individual in my office that didn’t travel, asked me if I had a second family going on while I was away.

In the course of my business I met many individuals that were well off and traveled in their business, and while not everyone was doing it I knew a number of individuals that traveled with mistresses.  One that comes to mind was married to a beautiful wife that had been a professional model, and even after having 3 children and in her late 20’s still looked like the famous model that my friend had met and married.

This story was conveyed by my friend as we chatted over a couple of drinks in his newly decorated bachelor apartment.  It was a Friday night when his wife received a call from one of her friends who was on vacation.  She asked her friend where is Ben (the name has been changed to protect the guilty), and her answer was he is attending a trade convention in Atlanta, Georgia.  Her friend responded, I’m not doing this to hurt you but as a friend, to help you.  My husband and I are at a resort in Hawaii and Ben just came into the lounge with a young brunette on his arm, and they are acting like honeymooners.  She sent a video of the two hugging and kissing in a booth.

By the time my friend got home most of his clothes were packed and near the front entrance of his palatial home.  She had contacted an attorney over the weekend and began the process of divorce, and division of property.  My friend was in the land development business, and owned commercial properties, undeveloped land, an exclusive golf course (Country Club), one of the largest and very popular furniture stores in town (established by his father in the mid 1950’s).  By the time his wife was done with him he was near bankruptcy, and had lost most of the inheritance his parents had left him.  The times when “Ignorance is Bliss,’ applied, went out when the smart phones with cameras and videos, and social media came in.

I am a very happily married man, because I love my family and they love me.  It doesn’t hurt that in my relationship I always get the last word.  Unfortunately, it’s almost always, “yes dear!”  The best is yet to come….

Society Appropriateness

Society Appropriateness

po·lit·i·cal cor·rect·ness

noun

• The avoidance, often considered as taken to extremes, of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against.

• Political correctness (adjectivally, politically correct, commonly abbreviated to PC) is a pejorative term used to criticize language, actions, or policies seen as being excessively calculated to not offend or disadvantage any particular group of people in society. ~ Wikipedia

This is one subject that everyone is passionate about, some for and some against.  My intent on this blog has always been to share my perspective, without the conviction that it is right, or wrong.  It’s been said before that opinions are like rear-ends everyone has one.  The ideal situation would always be that we be free to share what’s on our minds without forcing it onto others.

As an example my political preference is personal as long as I keep it to myself.  The minute I try to convince others that my candidate is the chosen one (as has been said before by fervent political participants) than I become fair game for anyone that thinks otherwise.  There was a time in my early adult years (early to mid-twenties) when the work force in my chosen profession was a good mix of all cultures, and it seems that everyone (culture) was fair game for the banter and jokes in the work place.

I never met anyone in that work environment that was malicious.  It seems that everyone would give and take.  The best you could do to defend yourself was by being quick with the come-backs. Despite what today would be seen as some kind of abuse, I know from personal experience that I could stand back to back with anyone of those many people that I worked with in a heated conference room business discussion or on any street corner or back alley and prevail.

When I first reached the corporate management level on my way to corporate headquarters, I remember attending my first Regional meeting of District Managers, at the Vice President’s home (Santa Barbara, California).  During the first phase of the meeting was a cocktail hour.  I was supposed to meet and greet other managers (I was one of the newest to ascend to the position).  My direct region manager found me in a corner of the patio having a cocktail with my date, and he approached us.  He said you are supposed to be mixing in and getting to know the other managers before the dinner begins.  My respond was I am trying to have a couple of drinks to loosen up first.

He pulled me away from my date, and said, you need to face reality, because you are not fooling me for a minute.  He continued; you are not mixing in because you don’t feel that you belong in this crowd.  Then he went on to point out many of the managers in the room, and said: see the gathering by the swimming pool, one is Italian, one is Portuguese, one is Polish, and I’m not sure what the two other guys are.  You are Mexican, and you think you are the only minority here.  Well, he said, I am Portuguese, and you and I belong here as much as anyone else.

With that he walked me over to the group of managers that we had just discussed and his wife took my date to introduce her to other ladies in attendance.  Within a few years I went on to excel within the ranks of the corporation, I had the opportunity many times to introduce other young managers to the social aspect of the corporate ranks.

I guess that my reason for mentioning the above is that, I am not sure what went wrong with our society, one thought that is mentioned regularly, is that “Common Sense” died.  Many people in our society have become meaner, and abusive.  Many others want to exercise their rights at the expense of other people’s rights.  We need to be constantly reminded that our rights start with us (the individual) and ends right where someone else’s begins.  We need to remember that we all have equal rights in all areas.  I agree that people with more wealth can better defend their rights, but that is for a legal battle in court, not on the streets.  For the streets, I am always accompanied by Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson.  There was a time when I thought I was indestructible, but common sense still dwells here, and thus Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson.

To this day, I am not sure if I am a good person because I am or if I am a good person because too many people in the area know me and I need to be on my best behavior always (again common sense).  The bottom line is that I am considered by many that know me to be a good person of integrity.  I personally believe that most often political correctness goes too far.  Some semblance of balance would be welcomed (from my perspective).  The best is yet to come…….

Guilty Until Otherwise Proven 2

Guilty Until Otherwise Proven 2

This post is part 2 to: Guilty Until Otherwise Proven Posted 6/07/2015.  http://www.being50.com/2015/06/guilty-until-otherwise-proven.html

As I entered the principal’s office, I still had no clue for why I was there.  I must admit that my initial reaction was the relief that it wasn’t a uniformed police officer or a detective waiting to interview me.  Not that I was aware of any wrong doing on my part, but I suppose it’s human nature to think of the worst possible scenario. I instantly searched my mind for the connection between me and the Johnson family or their children.  The Johnsons had 4 children with Brandy being the oldest (a junior in high school), her brother Johnny was next in line (a sophomore in high school). The other children were still in elementary school (both girls).  Mr. Johnson owned a fairly large farm, approximately 4,000 acres give or take, their crops were beets, potatoes, and pepper mint, and a large herd of cattle. 

The town where I grew up had a population of under 5,000, and everybody knows everybody.  I was friends with Johnny Johnson and visited their farm not regularly but every once in a while, I didn’t have his sister in my sights because truth be told I didn’t think she was within my range.  She was the daughter of a wealthy farmer, and I was ambitious and a hard worker, but a worker just the same.  I had my admirers at school and in town, but I never felt that she was one of them, no reason, just didn’t think so. 

I don’t mind admitting that my visits to Johnny Johnson’s house in part might have been to catch a glimpse of his beautiful blonde blue eyed sister.  I used to pick up Johnny during hunting season and walk through some farm land looking for Pheasants.  Johnny’s father was always cordial to me and once asked me to come work for him during summer vacation from high school.  I told him that I would consider the offer, but I never gave it a second thought because my step-father was the general foreman at the 10,000 plus acre farm where I worked (and I got paid well with supervisory responsibilities).

Due to my friendship with the family it was natural that I shake their hand the minute I came into their presence in the principal’s office, especially not knowing the reason for the meeting.  The principal closed the door and broke the ice the minute he sat on his chair behind the desk.  I am glad to see that everyone is acquainted was his ice-breaker.

He next addressed me:  I am sure that you are wandering why you are here.  Brandy has explained to her mother that she is pregnant and you are the father!  Mixed emotions ran through my body and mind.  My mind was trying to intake the information, while attempting to formulate a proper responds without calling her a liar.  At the same time I could feel the weakness in my legs even though I was sitting down.  Confusion ran rampant in my mind, on the one hand I wanted to say “I wish!”  On the other hand I wasn’t raised to be disrespectful.  I had never in my wildest dreams even thought of stealing a kiss from her, but to be the father of her unborn child, “WOW!”

Mr. Johnson spoke up next and saved me the trouble of having to respond.  I don’t know why he said what he did next, but in retrospect they were a very religious family, and while I won’t mention the religion by name, this type of reaction was not unheard off.  To every one’s surprise especially Brandy’s and mine the following was his statement (I’m pretty sure, word for word): “The two of you have brought shame to our family, you are to immediately move out of State preferably to Oregon, and not return until the child is born and the two of you are married.  I have $3000.00 dollars for you, and a car that should give you a chance to get established.  We will cover your medical cost, but that is all.  You have 24 hours to say your goodbyes.”

Saved my crown and wings (but barely)

I didn’t even get a chance to react.  When Brandy heard what the punishment was, she confessed that the father of the unborn child was a 20 year old hired hand at her father’s farm.  She apologized to me with tears of regret in her eyes.  She had used me because she was afraid that her father would fire her boyfriend, and maybe even hurt him physically.  I hope she thought that her father had more consideration for me because of whatever reason, and not that she wanted me hurt.  As most of my life has gone so did this incident, within a matter of an hour both my nightmare and possible dream (money/car/good looking girl) all came to a sudden stop.

I remember asking Johnny about his sister on a couple of occasions during the summer, and he told me that his mother was working on mending the relationship, but than just like that I forgot about it.  My reputation and ego both recovered and even improved if that’s possible.  The man above had better plans for me: a gorgeous wife and large happy family!  The best is yet to come………..