Caught in the Middle

Caught in the Middle

I’ve served my time at getting caught between, being there for my gracefully aging parents while meeting the demands of my own children growing up.  Well, it has now been more than a dozen years since my parents went to be with the lord.  I’ve enjoyed the relief that comes with knowing that that they are free of their aches and pains and in a better place all together.

Now enough time has gone by and it pains me to see my children begin to struggle with the realities of aging in-laws.  Our children are fortunate that their parents (us/we) are healthy and enjoying life to the fullest with minimal discomfort.  As with most people when young couples meet and marry they have no way of foreseeing what awaits at the end of the line.

One rule of thumb that I strongly believe in and promote is:  get to know the family before you get married, especially the older family members (particularly) the parents, because what you see is what you get.  Many times children have a way of mirroring their parents.  There are many exceptions to be sure, many children turn out great despite their parents and upbringing.  Can’t move on without mentioning that some relationships will be great, just because the people involved are so special to each other.

This writing comes to be because I am seeing one of my children struggle with the emotions of dealing with an in-law that is struggling with serious (possibly terminal) health issues.  I wish I could be more helpful, but every situation is different and I am not close enough to the developing situation to know what to say.  I do offer my support and understanding as much as I am allowed without intruding.

I am willing to bet that I am not the only one and that this situation is not unique.  This scenario must play out time and again all over the world.  It just hurts to witness it affecting people that I love.

Life is not discriminating when it comes to love and suffering, sooner or later we all come to that intersection of life.  The best is yet to come……

Shifting of Power

Moved to Californy

On my first effort at joining the corporate world, I entered quite by circumstance through a management training program at a very large corporation.  At the time this corporation ranked third within its industry.

I had moved my family to a different State for a job opportunity that was secured and guaranteed.  Upon arrival and within a couple of weeks of finalizing the plan to accept the job, I arrived to my new State to find that the person who extended the offer had been replaced.  The opening for my position had also been filled.

Within minutes of receiving that life shattering news, I found myself walking into the unemployment office looking for work.  With all my experience (I was raised on the farm and had heavy equipment operator training), there were only two opportunities for me to consider.  At face value both opportunities had equal monetary value.  The choice had to consider the long term benefits and opportunities.  While the financial situation appeared dim, I did have some savings that would carry the family for a couple of months.  We had arrived at my grandmother’s house so shelter and even food if necessary was not going to be a major expense. 

While living with my grandmother, I made sure to earn my way, by doing chores around her property.  One of my uncles had joined the Marines, so my grandmother gave me his car a real nice Mercury in showroom condition.  Now I had two cars, but I didn’t want to sell either one, however, I could as a last resort.  Don’t want to sound ungrateful, but the one negative if there was one, was that I had to transport my grandmother to her church activities with a car full of her friends (church ladies).  The annoyance was mostly due to my youth and intolerance:  the ladies and my grandmother thought I was very good looking, a wonderful young man, and a blessing to my grandmother.  In retrospect, I could use some of that attention right about now.  It’s been a while since any group of ladies told me how wonderful I am.

Back to the unemployment office:  The job choices were; 1) field labor (the bus picked up workers at the nearby corner every morning at 5 am, and they paid cash daily ($1.58 per hour), 2) management training for 8 months also paid $1.58 per hour (anything over an 8 hour day was paid at time and a half).  At the end of 8 months you either got promoted or were let go.  The nice person that gave me the referral, called the people at the management training position and set up an appointment for me the very next day at 4 pm.

I now had slightly more than 24 hours to research the position to prepare for the interview and get a slight advantage over the competition (I was told that 7 applicants had been referred including me).  The industry was a linen supply, and I had not heard of it before.  In a short period of time (less than a day) I had to become knowledgeable if not an expert.

A second post will be required to complete this thought.  Please standby for Shifting Power 2 coming soon to your electronic device.  The best is yet to come…..