Progress vs Change

 

Progress vs Change

I've often said that I don't embrace change for change's sake. On the other hand, I think of myself as a very progressive person.  The biggest difference between progress and change is that change doesn't always turn out positive, whereas progress by definition alone indicates forward movement or advancement.

Because I am often quoted saying that I am happy, healthy and blessed, anyone can understand why I don't want change for change's sake.  My status as quoted is a happy place to be, and if nothing ever changes, it would be just fine with me.

On the other hand, progress is always welcomed.  Any positive changes to my quoted status, would only mean that my life is improving.  In the previous two years I have had a couple of great examples, one is progress, and one is of change.

Progress:  In Summer of 2019, I found out quite by accident that I had a serious problem with a heart valve, and it require attention.  see the following post:  http://www.being50.com/2019/07/the-silver-lining.html

The first Cardiologist recommended monitoring every 6 months and at worst I had 5 years left.                Fortunately, I had the best advocate representing me (my beautiful wife).  She decided without                consulting with me (that's what I would expect from the best advocate ever) that if a medical                  prognosis ever demanded a second opinion, this was it. We were referred to the best Cardiology              Team in this region of the United States. Within a little less than two months, I went into surgery            and emerged with a new lease on life (from a danger that I wasn't even aware of).  On the plus side        and with the blessing of the almighty, the successful surgery comes with a 25-year durability                approval (kind of like a warranty).  Once again, I can claim that I am happy, healthy and blessed.

Change:  Through most of my young adult life I embraced muscle car ownership even drag racing.  I've admitted that it was a costly experience, but very enjoyable and wouldn't change it if I could go back to the future. See the following post:  http://www.being50.com/2013/08/my-muscle-car-life.html

"A long time ago, in a kingdom, far far away."  This is my way of sharing with you that many years ago when I first met my beautiful wife, I had finally arrived at place in my life when I was ready to make the big jump to my ideal sports car (Chevrolet Corvette).  As life often does to all of us, it threw me a major curve (no regrets), my destiny crossed paths with my desire for my ultimate sports car, and love won. I chose to embark with this beautiful young lady into our future together. I never told her that I wanted a sports car and instead purchased a 4-door sedan more appropriate for raising a young family.

Over many years of happy marriage, she could see the look in my face every time I saw a Corvette in close proximity.  Once again, acting as my best possible advocate and knowing that we have raised our children and are experiencing (enjoying) the empty nest syndrome. she chose Father's Day 2021 to gift me my desired sports car (with all our children's approval).  I am grateful to my family for their love and support.

I would have to grade this change as a positive one and definitely one that should have been on my Bucket List.  Don't give up hope the best is yet to come.....

The Silver Lining

The Silver Lining

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always found the Silver Lining on all situations no matter how dire they may be.  If we believe in the All mighty, then we must believe that he wouldn’t paint us into a corner.  No matter what he throws at us, we always have free agency (the ability to make choices).  We can choose between, good and bad or bad and worse, and even good and better.

Whenever I find myself in a less than positive situation (not often) I try to figure out what it is that I can do to improve it or even turn it into a total positive.

I won’t bother you with all the details because right now, even I don’t have all the information that is being generated on my behalf.

I won’t tell you my exact age, because if I did, I may have to do away with you (LOL) but suffice to know that even I am amazed at how great of a life I’ve had and how healthy I’ve been.  I was beginning to think that some day I could just drop dead and people would say but he was so healthy.

Four months ago, I went to the doctor’s office for something totally unrelated to what I’m presently dealing with right now.  My regular physician was not available because I came in with a last-minute appointment, so another physician saw me and during the course of regular examination discovered that I had a heart murmur.  She asked me how long I had the murmur.  I explained that I wasn’t aware of any murmurs.

Since then and in short order, I’ve talked to a cardiologist twice, and a couple of heart surgeons.  I’ve had 3 different tests that help determine that I am strong and healthy not yet showing symptoms but definitely need to take action, if I want to take control of my life, literally.

I’ve said it before and will repeat it again and again.  In life there are two people that you need to stay in contact with (communicate), your doctor, and the Internal revenue agent.  No particular order.

Before I cause any damage to my heart, I need to act, the sooner the better.  As I’ve mentioned before, we have free agency (we can make choices).  I can elect to ignore the problem and ruin my quality of life (maybe even be gone within 4 to five years); I can elect the least intrusive and painful way (shorter history to go by).  I have consulted with my wife and selected the more intrusive way, more painful and longest recovery period.  My selection also has a history dating back to the 1950’s with much better odds of success and longevity.

I’m sharing my situation on this blog for two main reasons: 1- I asked family and friends for prayers without an explanation.  I feel that those that offered prayers deserve a thank you and an explanation. 2- I want every person that follows my blog and FB Page to take care of themselves and listen to their body and medical professionals.  For those of you that are in my age range (whatever that might be), life is even more precious than ever.  I will keep you posted on my progress.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  Stay positive always. I know that the best is yet to come….

Go to Guy

Go to Guy

Go To Guy

The one you go to for advice. Who can turn your sad days into happy days. The one guy that knows all your secrets, that you tell anything and everything to, who protects you and only wants the best for you. The first person you tell your happy and sad news who always is the first one that comes to mind. The friend that you can't wait to talk to because no matter how boring of a day you've had, there's always tons of things to share. This is the friend who takes up the majority of your minutes/texts. Who you cannot see your life without.

You are my rock, my go to guy, the one friend that completes me.

#friendship#bff#gtg#love#admiration

I don’t know about the #admiration but a friend or person that you can depend on is what best describes me. This is especially true if you have membership by way of birthright.

I don’t remember a time in my life when I was not the dependable one.  Whether it was the easy request like pick up some milk on the way home or a request to do the impossible.

For those that don’t know me, I was raised by a single parent, and she was an amazing influence throughout my life and to this very day.  My mother was also a Go to Person.  If she didn’t have the answer to your problem, she always knew someone that could help.

When I was 17 years old and still in high school, a friend of the family confided to my mother that a she had family emergency back home (Mexico).  She attempted various ways to assist them, but the final solution was for me to drive the family of four all the way from the Pacific Northwest to Monterrey Nuevo Leon Mexico. Not many teenagers would go along willingly.  I did for various reasons most predominant is that I’ve always been an obedient son.

Trust me when I say that I felt like Christopher Columbus.  Heading for the first time into the unknown and learning as I went along the way.  The drive south was non-stop in the sense that I only took power naps over a three-day travel schedule.

The real challenge was making the return trip by myself.  At my mother’s insistence I treated myself to one night in a hotel along the way.  I’ve made additonal sacrifices to assist others since that time but none requiring so much personal (physical) sacrifice.

I do have a strong belief that we are here to be of service to others.  There are those that will try to take advantage of a nice person so be aware and discerning.  The best is yet to come…..

Getting off the Merry Go Round

Getting off the Merry Go Round

Definition of merry-go-round for English Language Learners

• : a large round platform that turns around in a circle and has seats and figures of animals (such as horses) on which children sit for a ride
• : a set or series of repeated activities that are quick, confusing, or difficult to leave ~Merriam-Webster

One of the best aspects of my life and possibly the best part, is that while I am organized I still like the element of surprise (wonderment) almost every day.  I don’t embrace change for change sake but I enjoy controlled (planned) change.

Imagine that you love a food so much that you have been known to say that you could eat it every day for the rest of your life.  You most likely don’t mean that but in a moment of excitement it was the thing to say to express your appreciation for the food item.  A similar amount of restraint need to be used in everything that comes as part of your life.

Almost always, there are circumstances where getting on the proverbial merry go round is required.  Examples: to succeed in business or a career, hopping on the corporate merry go round is required.  You can succeed without full and total commitment to the corporate game plan, but the odds are against you.  Getting off the merry go round in any circumstance requires knowing in advance what your destination should be.

The merry go round of life is all inclusive. Other examples are: the commitment to marriage and raising a family.  However, getting off that merry go round can be painful and costly.  You can successfully get off that merry go round by completing your commitment to raising the kids and supporting your spouse, along the way as the family evolves.  Most importantly, let’s not forget that the arrival of the children should only be a temporary interruption to what started as a romance between two people.  After the children leave the nest, the original relationship should be strong and able to pick up where the romance was, when lovingly interrupted. 

Caution:  If you try to get off the merry go round while it’s moving fast, you most likely will end up on your face.  The best is yet to come…..

Caught in the Middle

Caught in the Middle

I’ve served my time at getting caught between, being there for my gracefully aging parents while meeting the demands of my own children growing up.  Well, it has now been more than a dozen years since my parents went to be with the lord.  I’ve enjoyed the relief that comes with knowing that that they are free of their aches and pains and in a better place all together.

Now enough time has gone by and it pains me to see my children begin to struggle with the realities of aging in-laws.  Our children are fortunate that their parents (us/we) are healthy and enjoying life to the fullest with minimal discomfort.  As with most people when young couples meet and marry they have no way of foreseeing what awaits at the end of the line.

One rule of thumb that I strongly believe in and promote is:  get to know the family before you get married, especially the older family members (particularly) the parents, because what you see is what you get.  Many times children have a way of mirroring their parents.  There are many exceptions to be sure, many children turn out great despite their parents and upbringing.  Can’t move on without mentioning that some relationships will be great, just because the people involved are so special to each other.

This writing comes to be because I am seeing one of my children struggle with the emotions of dealing with an in-law that is struggling with serious (possibly terminal) health issues.  I wish I could be more helpful, but every situation is different and I am not close enough to the developing situation to know what to say.  I do offer my support and understanding as much as I am allowed without intruding.

I am willing to bet that I am not the only one and that this situation is not unique.  This scenario must play out time and again all over the world.  It just hurts to witness it affecting people that I love.

Life is not discriminating when it comes to love and suffering, sooner or later we all come to that intersection of life.  The best is yet to come……

Reality Check

Reality Check

I woke up Christmas Eve 2016 at 4:40am with the thought that I needed to reexamine my life and determine that I had been true in most instances to family tradition.  I almost immediately found at least three occasions where I had strayed from tradition not because I was rebelling but because society changes and so must we as individuals if we want to excel (improve past family performances).  I imagine that if I spent more time analyzing my life I would find that in many instances, I at least tweaked family traditions to allow for the changing times.

One major tradition that I changed, and the jury is still out on whether, it is right or wrong (for the benefit of family improvement), was to concentrate on my children’s chances for success, by making their first language English.  To understand my point of view, you have to know that I come from long line of proud Mexican Culture.

The way that I was raised, I would speak English in school, and was punished (corporal – smacked with a yardstick) by the nuns, if I was caught speaking in Spanish.  Yet, when I got home all I spoke was Spanish.  I could expect no assistance at home with my school homework, the lesson there is that I became self-reliant.  I performed very well despite the internal battle with two languages at the same time.  To this day, if I have a tough problem to compute, I think in Spanish and the answer comes out in English.

I decided to improve my children’s lives by not burdening them with the two languages at the same time. They grew up very successful, but I have forever been criticized if not chastised for not teaching them their cultural language when young.  Of all my children only one speaks Spanish as well as I do or better, and the others get along just fine.  They picked up Spanish in the educational system.

Another tradition that I broke away from was maintaining close ties with family and friends.  I am not talking about just close family and friends. That tradition I still do.  I’m talking about 2^nd, 3^rd. and even 4 times removed cousins, and friends that were met at work on the first job I ever had 30 or 40 years ago.  My mother and step-father traveled back to Texas from Washington State once a year to visit family, and even crossed into Mexico to visit family and friends.  I don’t mean dropped by on the way through, they actually stayed at their homes for two or three days at a time.  Even when I visit sisters and brothers out of State I insist in staying at a hotel and renting a car for my own transportation.  After all I am the one on vacation not them, they still have their daily routines to perform.

My wife and I decided to concentrate on starting our own traditions (more normal), major holidays, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and others centered more around the grandchildren are based at the good ole home where everyone was raised (we still have the wall with all the markings and dates of progressive height of the family members, even grandchildren now).  Traditions for us are about maintaining close family ties, and includes close friends.  Our children have already started some of their own traditions like visiting with their in-laws on the holidays after our get together or before.

We enjoy seeing someone that we haven’t seen in 15 or 20 years, but life is so much busier for us than it was when our parents were young, as an example my step-father’s job was as a head-foreman on a 10,000-acre farm, and because we lived in the Northwest he normally had about a two-month flexible time where he could wander around the country visiting family and friends (which he loved to do).

There are other traditions that we tweaked to accommodate the changing times but for the most part we try to toe the line.  The best is yet to come……

Losing Its Luster

Losing Its Luster

Luster

Noun                                                                    A position of exalted widely recognized importance:    distinction, eminence, eminency, fame, glory, illustriousness, mark, notability, note, preeminence, prestige, prominence, prominency, renown.

Luster is one word that I could think of to describe the level of importance to certain holidays growing up.  Consider that the holidays have remained pretty much unchanged, but in our eyes and mind (which have matured) the holidays are losing their luster.

I totally love all holidays, but number one and number two have to be Christmas and Thanksgiving.  Occupying third place would have to be Memorial Day.  Memorial Day has different relevance to a multitude of people for different reasons:  1) a day designated for remembrance of loved ones that have gone ahead of us, 2) a day to celebrate and recognize and honor our military heroes that made the ultimate sacrifice, 3) of great importance to young people in high school and college; the signal to the beginning of Summer and start of school vacation.  Secondary but also important are the wonderful family and friend get togethers for BBQ’s, and just plain ole catching up.

I still remember being young and looking forward to bed time on Christmas eve, because I knew that by Christmas morning Santa would have come by and left me some presents.  My parents always managed to surprise me and exceed my expectations. 

I can only think of one Christmas when it almost ended up being a total disaster, but instead turned out to be the most memorable Christmas ever.  Check out the post:  Unexpected Best Christmas, http://www.being50.com/2013/06/unexpected-best-christmas.html

I wish I could tell you at what age I stopped believing in Santa Claus, but I honestly don’t remember.  I do know that I had my suspicions about whether he was real or not for a few years, but I didn’t dare not believe, just in case.  After that holiday lost its luster for me, it wasn’t until, I was a married young adult with children before I started to enjoy seeing the same look of amazement in the little faces of my children.

Now, once again the clock keeps ticking, and my babies are now adults with children of their own.  In recent years that same look of amazement can now be seen in the little faces of my grandchildren.  The luster of the holiday is never lost it just gets passed on from generation to generation.  It’s up to people like you and me, to continue to encourage it and keep it alive.  You could even say that as grandparents we would do well to look at Christmas through the eyes of our grandchildren and great grandchildren.  The best is yet to come……..

Social Tipping Point

Social Tipping Point

As individuals go, we can be extremely different or fairly similar, we are a conglomerate of diversity, and yet unique at the same time.  Personally, I am multifaceted: some of my self-description comes from what I think of myself, and as described by people around me.

In my early adulthood, I was so involved in my community that I could be considered an activist (I even ran for elective office).  I lettered in three different sports in high school so I could be described as athletic, I also carry all the typical labels: son, brother, father, friend, boyfriend, husband, etc., etc. Depending on who you are and what roles you played in my life, I’ve also been described as: nice, friendly, considerate, a lover not a fighter, smug, mean, inconsiderate, etc., etc.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that as humans and inhabitants of Planet Earth, we adapt well to our surroundings (mostly for the sake of survival).  I prefer to be nice, peaceful, respectful, kind, considerate.  Most important, I prefer to be a survivor, and protector of my loved ones.

I own a firearm, but early in my marriage my wife convinced me to keep it in a safe and away from the children.  Some of my adult children would be shocked to know that I own a gun and that I am licensed to carry.  Over the years I’ve been observing our society spiral out of control.  I’ve been patiently standing on the sidelines observing, and making sure that neither I or my loved ones get dragged into the mix.

In all honesty, it is getting harder and harder to stay safe and out of the mix.  Earlier this summer, we had a motor vehicle stolen from our driveway.  The vehicle was recovered within 2 weeks with minimal damage, but it caused me to upgrade our existing home security system.  Within the last week there have been instances where three acts of fatal violence occurred in our country (USA) that has been covered on the national news scene.  Just last night a second incidence of violence at a shopping mall within a week happened within 100 miles of my residence.

Society is continuing to move in the wrong direction for my liking.  If you are familiar with the comic character “The Hulk” he is a mild mannered individual who gets pushed too far and turns into an angry green monster that strikes back.  I for one am running out of patience and tolerance. Don’t expect me to turn green any time soon, do however, expect Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson to accompany me when I go into public places that offer questionable safety and security.  Bad Guys beware, for your own survival, be more selective of who you pick on to victimize!  The best is yet to come……

Muhammad Ali, The Greatest

Muhammad Ali, The Greatest

Growing up during the 60’s, one of the favorite activities was the Friday Gillett Fights on television.  Our family was still one of the lucky ones in the neighborhood to have a television set.  Relatives gathered at our house on Friday evening all pumped for the wonderful meal that preceded the Friday Night Fights.  I never actually saw anyone get drunk but I do remember that the adult men in the family (my step-father, uncles and cousins) all drank beer with their meal and during the fight.

I recall that the more exciting the boxing match was the less beer the men drank because they were so into the fight.  It was obvious to me that the beer drinking was not the object of the night.  As was customary for the ladies of the house to be found working in the kitchen preparing the extravagant meal of the evening (a feast to be sure).

The children (anyone under the drinking age) downed their meal with a couple of cold glasses of Kool-Aid.  It was during this family gatherings that I became aware and a fan of Cassius Clay (Muhammad’s name before he changed it soon after the Liston fight).

I remember with great clarity my introduction to the big time 1965.  I was still a teenager, and was happily surprised to be invited to a close circuit television presentation some 40 miles away from my home.  My biggest disappointment came when we arrived inside the venue three minutes into the fight, and fight had only lasted two minutes.  We sat there and saw the replays over and over on the large screen.  The excitement in the room was unbelievable.

• Soon after the Liston fight, Clay changed his name to Muhammad Ali upon converting to Islam and affiliating with the Nation of Islam. Ali then faced a rematch with Liston scheduled for May 1965 in Lewiston, Maine. It had been scheduled for Boston the previous November, but was postponed for six months due to Ali's emergency surgery for a hernia three days before. The fight was controversial. Midway through the first round, Liston was knocked down by a difficult-to-see blow the press dubbed a "phantom punch". Ali refused to retreat to a neutral corner, and referee Jersey Joe Walcott did not begin the count. Liston rose after he had been down about 20 seconds, and the fight momentarily continued. But a few seconds later Walcott stopped the match, declaring Ali the winner by knockout. The entire fight lasted less than two minutes. ^~Wikipedia

The loss of Ali is every bit as impacting to me as the day I heard on the radio of the other major icon of my youth’s passing, the King of Rock and Roll.  R.I.P Muhammad Ali.  For the rest of us life goes on and the best is yet to come……..

Hit The Road Jack

Road Trip Time

If you have plans to travel over the holiday weekend, be prepared to pay higher prices for a gallon of fuel if you travel to or through high traffic and popular areas.  The price for a barrel of oil just went over the $50 dollar per barrel mark since February 2016 when it was $26.

Whenever I go on a road trip I google the location of all the Costco gasoline station along my route.  They are not always as convenient as I wish they were, but I’ve been known to go a few miles out of my way to fill up at as much as 30 to 70 cents cheaper per gallon.

Looking at the Los Angeles area for this holiday weekend the Costco gasoline stations range from $2.32 per gallon on the low end to $2.42 on the high end.  By comparison the in the same area (LA) Super 8 in Norwalk from $2.37 to $4.29 at a Chevron on N. Alameda and N. Main St.

If you take a chance it will just come down to where you get low on fuel, and feel that you can no longer risk it and go for the best price you can get at a gas station.  On the other hand, if cost is no object, simply enjoy your trip and know that this holiday’s gasoline prices are amongst the best (lowest) we’ve seen for a while.

Many experts are predicting record number of travelers due to the great gasoline prices and the fact that we just came out of a long winter, and need the family getaway.  Expect heavy and slow traffic at times, and long lines almost everywhere you go.  Safe and happy motoring.  Remember the new laws regarding use of restrooms, keep your family safe.  The best is yet to come…………..

A Life Well Lived

I still remember like if it was yesterday, how incredibly nice and empowering it is to

be young and have things going your way.  I was in my early twenties starting a family studying and held a job in mid management.  Among my passions, I lived for driving my muscle cars which I upgraded on average every 18 months.

Looking back from a fiscal point of view, I could be a very wealthy person if only I had taken a different tactic to fiscal responsibility.  As it is I am working on my third million!  I forgot to mention that I gave up on the first and second (LOL)!  No regrets, the lord took care of me despite my shortcomings.  At the same time, I harken back to all the wonderful times that I experienced being amongst the first handful of people in my city to drive the first of the new muscle cars for new year model.  Imagine driving the new models such as: 1967 Cadillac Coupe de Ville, 1968 Plymouth Road Runner, 1969 American Motors AMX, 1970 Dodge Charger, 1971 Dodge Challenger, etc.

All during this time I maintained a normal everyday work car (at different times), such as a 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air, 1956 Ford Victoria, 1958 Chevrolet Nomad Station Wagon.  In looking back, I cringe at the very thought of referring to these gorgeous classics as “everyday work car.”

I started out thinking Cadillac was going to be the level of class that I aspired to, but I quickly learned that it made me appear older than my age so I change direction and went to muscle cars. Gasoline prices being what they were during the era of the muscle cars, I still caught myself stopping at gas stations and asking for a couple of dollars’ worth of gas and check the oil please.  

The other passion that rivaled my passion for powerful and very exciting cars (looks and power), was my love/passion for music systems.  Top of the line 8-track stereo system with 4 speakers (my AMX had a 7 speaker system) surround sound.  That my friends was the life.

Full disclosure:  I wasn’t the kind of person that had all his money invested in cars, the house had to be nice and nicely furnished because as important as my car passion was, the family was even more important.  The best is yet to come……..

Many Years Ago

Many Years Ago

Many, many, many years ago in what now seems like a Galaxy far, far away, exactly on this date I married the most beautiful young lady after only knowing her for two weeks.  If love at first sight ever applied this was the perfect proof of it.  Better yet, after all these years, four beautiful children and presently four gorgeous grandchildren I love her even more today than yesterday.

I’ve said in many previous posts that I am blessed beyond what any one person deserves, and she is the foundation of all my blessings.

One of the best things that I can wish on anyone is to live in a relationship like ours.  Our life hasn’t been without it’s peaks and valleys, but our relationship has always been powerfully strong and healthy.  I’ve always known that someone had my back and that someone was my sweetheart.

I can best tell her of my love for her by sharing with anyone that will take the time to read or listen of my love and devotion for her.  I wish you all love and good fortune!  The best is yet to come………

Life of Leisure

Life of Leisure

This morning while driving the first of my two granddaughters to school (which I do strictly of my own volition).  We engaged in conversation as we always do, except that this time it took a very different direction.  Our typical conversation is about the weather, upcoming events at her school or in the family.  This morning she started off by saying that she really didn’t feel like going to school.  My response was that there are many things, I would rather not do.  Some of those “things” have some flexibility where I can decide to do or not to do, and some that I have a commitment to and must do.

Of the two granddaughters that I drive to school, one is 10 years old and the other is 6.  The granddaughter that sparked the conversation and this Blog post is the 10-year-old.  Her response to me was (innocently), “you are so lucky that you can just go home and do nothing or only what you want to do.”  Before I continue, I want to make sure that we all have the same definition of Leisure.

Leisure

Noun

1. freedom from the demands of work or duty: She looked forward to retirement and a life of leisure.
2. time free from the demands of work or duty, when one can rest, enjoy hobbies or sports, etc.:
3. Most evenings he had the leisure in which to follow his interests.
4. unhurried ease: a work written with leisure and grace.

I retired early with a comfortable pension to avoid unnecessary work stress, and hopefully maintain a life of leisure and in great health (so far so good on only one of those two goals, health).  The leisure part I have yet to realize.

It was so much easier to schedule a day or even half day away from work to play golf or go fishing, than it is to take time away from my granddaughters and grandson.  I am not complaining and the difficulty in getting away is my sense of responsibility to them (the children) not to their parents.

I presently take my two granddaughters to school in two different but adjoining cities (thankfully different start times to accommodate the travel time).  I also pick them up at end of school day.

The last time that I took a vacation out of State by myself the grandkids cried and missed me so much that I couldn’t really enjoy my time away.  I felt a deep guilt as if I had abandoned them.  Fortunately, this year’s vacation is all about them and will include a stop to visit the happiest place in the world (Disney).

I explained to my 10-year-old granddaughter that I officially started working at age 12 (I was raised on the farm) following the end of the school year.  Keep in mind that the first six or so years where Summer jobs.  Nonetheless I logged a total of 50 years in the work force.  My explanation was meant to justify what she perceived as being my life of leisure.  The best is yet to come………