Secret Sauce

 

Man's Life Stages

Making the most of life is always important but never as important as when you near your Golden Years.  I refer to this post as Man's Life Stages only because it's being shared by me and obviously a man's perspective.  Having said that, all I share will also apply to a person of the opposite gender.  

Three Measures

For the purpose of this post, I will use three measures on every Stage of Life, and they are: Time, Money, and Energy.

• First Stage - Youth: Many young men during their high school years and some even into college have plenty of time and energy but minimal money.  

1. Without a doubt, most often by choice or circumstance.  Their values and priorities have yet to be developed.  I on the other hand had my very first successful business at the age of 10.  Some might say I was lucky, however, Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.  
2. I'm sure that multitasking has been around for a long time, I can't remember a time when I didn't have at least 3 or 4 things going on at the same time.  I would even go as far as to say that the common problem is lacking motivation, and thus lacking money.

• Second Stage - Adult: Young adults by now for the most part have completed college or entered the work force, started a business and/or are working their way up the corporate ladder. Some maybe even have gotten married and are raising a family.  All of a sudden they find themselves (hopefully) with plenty of money, and energy (still young) but no time. 

1. It doesn't have to be as describes but I'll guess that a sampling would show approximately 90% as described.
2. This stage of life is a time when many relationships get stressed to the breaking point.  If you don't have a strategy and great partner to help you through it, you may run into some tough challenges.  Managing your limited time is crucial.  My wife and I had 4 children, and I was fortunate that she wanted to be a stay at home mom until all the children were attending school full time. In the meantime she was involved in our family business which didn't impose a stringent work schedule on her. 

• Third Stage - Old: If you worked smart and diligently had some good luck, and kept all the chainsaws you were juggling up in the air, you should find yourself with lots of time, ample money, but low on energy.

1. Hopefully you made your money for retirement and made some wise investment choices before you ran low on energy.  I've always said that in life I took some risks based on knowing that if I failed I had enough time to recover the losses.
2. However, at some point in my age progressions I started playing it safe.

And now for the Secret Sauce:  There is one element that can make all the difference in the world at every one of the 3 stages especially the third one.  I'm sure we have all heard someone say, "if only I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."  We don't all have the blessings of good genes, or healthy habits plus a great life partner who keeps us on the straight and narrow to better life choices.

If you already missed the train to good health in your golden years, then you must share this and other similar articles with your children so they don't end up finding out at a later time in life.  As always, I make the claim that I am healthy, happy and blessed.  I still have enough energy to be working, even if I really don't have to (because I am retired).  I still enjoy long road trips in which I do all the driving by choice.  I have many interests and I stay mobile and involved.  Remember: If you don't get of the couch while you can, you won't be able to get off when you have to.  The best is yet to come.....

Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

10 Shocking Statistics About Elderly Falls

·        When an elderly person falls, their hospital stays are almost twice longer than those of     elderly patients who are admitted for any other reason.

·        The risk of falling increases with age and is greater for women than men.

·        Annually, falls are reported by one-third of all people over the age of 65.

·        Two-thirds of those who fall will do so again within six months.

·        Falls are the leading cause of death from injury among people 65 and older.

·        Approximately 9,500 deaths in older Americans are associated with falls each year.

·        More than half of all fatal falls involve people 75 or over.

·        Among people aged 65 to 69, one out of every 200 falls results in a hip fracture. That number increases to one out of every 10 for those aged 85 and older.

·        One-fourth of seniors who fracture a hip from a fall will die within six months of the injury.

·        The most profound effect of falling is the loss of functioning associated with independent living.  ~ by Shell Point Retirement Community

CAUTION!  Don’t try this at home.  At some point, we all reach and cross the line where we are old enough to know better.  That line can be reached through personal experience, common sense, or by someone else’s example.  However, you do reach it, we all must reach it.  I love learning from other’s mistakes because it saves me a lot of pain and suffering.  Not to mention that it makes me look mature and smart.

As I get older, I’ve noticed that every so often I catch myself pushing the envelope.  I am not sure that I am trying to prove that “I still got it,” or perhaps trying to save time.  Since I am retired, I can’t blame my corner cutting on time constraint. 

Just a short list:  I have survived the following unhurt, almost got electrocuted running electrical wire for an addition to our home; survived a rear collision on a vehicle wreck where my car was standing still and the other driver was traveling at approximately 50 mph (should have killed me but it only resulted in a broken back) (I know, I make it sound like a piece of cake).  I almost drowned while swimming with friends in a river at age 11 (I actually went under for the count); I was painting the trim on the exterior of my house while standing on the very top rung of an 8-foot ladder (a wind gust came up and I almost lost my balance), I quickly came to my senses and I called a professional to finish the job.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Well, my wife and I have spent perhaps thousands of dollars over the years in an effort to stay healthy through exercise (gym memberships).  My most recent effort is to transform our large garage into a gym.  We purchased 5 professional workout pieces of equipment, and a hot sauna to complete the ideal workout place.  And now the rest of the story:  No work out place is complete without a descent size screen television to take your mind away from the pain and suffering of a healthy workout.  I was trying to place the tv on top of the sauna but it was about a half inch too big to fit. From on top of the ladder about 4 feet high, I was holding the tv and tried to place it on top a shelf about 30 inches away.  Bottom line is I lost my balance and went backwards from the ladder while still holding the television.  I protected the investment on the tv set keeping it at arm’s length as I went down backwards.  Fortunately, on the way down my elbow knocked over a stack of walk-in carpets that miraculously landed under me and cushioned my fall.

All’s well that ends well, but once again, someone was looking out after me, and I came out unhurt.  I surveyed the area where I landed it, and still don’t know how those carpets ended up under me.  I came within inches of hitting my head on at least three very sharp corners, any of which could have killed me.

I beg you to be very careful in your own personal lives.  If you believe that you can’t afford to have a professional handle your project, ask yourself if you can afford time in the hospital and the medical bills or worst.  I hereby promise to draw on my experience, and the mistakes of others to keep myself safe for my family and friends.  The best is yet to come……..

A Life Well Lived

I still remember like if it was yesterday, how incredibly nice and empowering it is to

be young and have things going your way.  I was in my early twenties starting a family studying and held a job in mid management.  Among my passions, I lived for driving my muscle cars which I upgraded on average every 18 months.

Looking back from a fiscal point of view, I could be a very wealthy person if only I had taken a different tactic to fiscal responsibility.  As it is I am working on my third million!  I forgot to mention that I gave up on the first and second (LOL)!  No regrets, the lord took care of me despite my shortcomings.  At the same time, I harken back to all the wonderful times that I experienced being amongst the first handful of people in my city to drive the first of the new muscle cars for new year model.  Imagine driving the new models such as: 1967 Cadillac Coupe de Ville, 1968 Plymouth Road Runner, 1969 American Motors AMX, 1970 Dodge Charger, 1971 Dodge Challenger, etc.

All during this time I maintained a normal everyday work car (at different times), such as a 1955 Chevrolet Bel Air, 1956 Ford Victoria, 1958 Chevrolet Nomad Station Wagon.  In looking back, I cringe at the very thought of referring to these gorgeous classics as “everyday work car.”

I started out thinking Cadillac was going to be the level of class that I aspired to, but I quickly learned that it made me appear older than my age so I change direction and went to muscle cars. Gasoline prices being what they were during the era of the muscle cars, I still caught myself stopping at gas stations and asking for a couple of dollars’ worth of gas and check the oil please.  

The other passion that rivaled my passion for powerful and very exciting cars (looks and power), was my love/passion for music systems.  Top of the line 8-track stereo system with 4 speakers (my AMX had a 7 speaker system) surround sound.  That my friends was the life.

Full disclosure:  I wasn’t the kind of person that had all his money invested in cars, the house had to be nice and nicely furnished because as important as my car passion was, the family was even more important.  The best is yet to come……..

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is bliss definition

• Not knowing something is often more comfortable than knowing it.                                   
• Note: This proverb resembles “What you don't know cannot hurt you.” It figures in a passage from “On a Distant Prospect of Eton College,” by the eighteenth-century English poet Thomas Gray: “Where ignorance is bliss, / ‘Tis folly to be wise.’”

As I catch campaign 2016 commercials on the television’s various networks, I harken back to the good old days when politicians had a touch of class and decency (sorry for the use of an oxymoron).

Nothing happens today especially on the campaign trail that doesn’t get immediate exposure on the internet.  Even television networks find themselves leading from behind because everyone is tweeting, and otherwise posting to the social media (Facebook).

Back in the days before the internet, an illegal activity could be taking place in the next block from your residence and you might never hear of it, except for maybe a nosey neighbor that might be known for spreading gossip.  Regularly cases were exposed where a husband or wife might be having an affair on the opposite side of town (population 15,000 and bigger) and no one would be the wiser, they might even live in total bliss not knowing of the betrayal.

I recall that when I was involved in my career (28 years), my office would be on the West Side of the State, and my area of responsibility was on the East Side of the State.  I was on the road on average 2500 miles per month, and was away from home anywhere from 3 to 4 days, and sometimes the whole week.  One unscrupulous individual in my office that didn’t travel, asked me if I had a second family going on while I was away.

In the course of my business I met many individuals that were well off and traveled in their business, and while not everyone was doing it I knew a number of individuals that traveled with mistresses.  One that comes to mind was married to a beautiful wife that had been a professional model, and even after having 3 children and in her late 20’s still looked like the famous model that my friend had met and married.

This story was conveyed by my friend as we chatted over a couple of drinks in his newly decorated bachelor apartment.  It was a Friday night when his wife received a call from one of her friends who was on vacation.  She asked her friend where is Ben (the name has been changed to protect the guilty), and her answer was he is attending a trade convention in Atlanta, Georgia.  Her friend responded, I’m not doing this to hurt you but as a friend, to help you.  My husband and I are at a resort in Hawaii and Ben just came into the lounge with a young brunette on his arm, and they are acting like honeymooners.  She sent a video of the two hugging and kissing in a booth.

By the time my friend got home most of his clothes were packed and near the front entrance of his palatial home.  She had contacted an attorney over the weekend and began the process of divorce, and division of property.  My friend was in the land development business, and owned commercial properties, undeveloped land, an exclusive golf course (Country Club), one of the largest and very popular furniture stores in town (established by his father in the mid 1950’s).  By the time his wife was done with him he was near bankruptcy, and had lost most of the inheritance his parents had left him.  The times when “Ignorance is Bliss,’ applied, went out when the smart phones with cameras and videos, and social media came in.

I am a very happily married man, because I love my family and they love me.  It doesn’t hurt that in my relationship I always get the last word.  Unfortunately, it’s almost always, “yes dear!”  The best is yet to come….

Decreasing Value

Decreasing Value

Another great title for this post could be Disappearing Middle Class.  For some of us that have had a wonderful run in the workforce, and are now retired.  If we prepared adequately (education or training) and either saved money or invested wisely, and had a big helping of good luck.  By good luck I mean not have 80 to 100% of your investments in the stock market around the time of the market collapsed.  For those of us; we are surviving with our heads above water where the finances are concerned.  We don’t even notice our declining finances because we have been adjusting our extracurricular activities.  Examples:  Stop taking the annual vacation to fancy resorts in or out of the country, dropped the Golf Membership at the Country Club, stopped driving the expensive SUV (gas guzzler) and moved into a more economical sedan, Cut down eating out from twice weekly to twice monthly (entertaining more at home), etc., etc.

When my wife and I first got married and even now we like to guess how much our groceries are going to cost while the cashier is processing our groceries.  We like to see how sharp we are at guessing and see who comes the closest to the total cost.  The only prize is the honor of guessing the closest and show off our mathematical genius.  It used to be that a rule of thumb was on average $10 per bag of groceries.

Like everything else the prices have gone up and the size of the bags have gotten smaller.  Coincidence, I don’t think so.  Just like the size of a candy bar got smaller and the price stayed the same for about a year and then they totally lost their shame and raised the prices anyway (have you noticed that the size of a case of pop is now 20 cans instead of 24, yet the price stayed the same or went up).  Earlier this week I was sent out on a grocery run and as often happens, I was in the mood for reflection.  As has been typical since the drought broke in the Northwest, it was a rainy evening.  

After rushing into my car to avoid getting soaked, I noticed that I only carried out two small bags of groceries, and a couple of lose items that were too heavy for the flimsy paper bags with handles that they now sell you for five cents each.  The paper handles on the bags break long before you get home.  Total paid for the few items I purchased was over $50.  That is an average of 25 dollars per bag.  The few items that I carried unbagged were a gallon of milk, ½ gallon of orange juice, and a two liter bottle of pop.

It wasn’t that long ago that I remember buying a five pound sleeve of ground beef for $4.39 today in some stores that’s the price per pound, even more if you buy the 93% fat free.  Today’s price of the cheapest cut of beef (Chuck Roast) is $6.99 per pound.  That used to be the price of Top Sirloin.  The saddest thing is that, the market place ratchets the screws on our budgets so much and so high that when they finally have a sale to draw you into the store, and we are so grateful and reward them with our budget dollars.

I remember that growing up my parents used to look at the weekly sales (printed on paper flyers) and would actually shop the different stores to buy the advertised sales leaders.  I do believe I see those day coming back.  The reason for the high prices is often blamed on the cost of oil (transportation), the drought (lack of irrigation water for agriculture), Global Warming (according to politicians, what happens in Timbuktu affects Cucamonga, California, etc., etc.). 

There will have to be at least two more posts on the subject of what’s making the Middle Class disappear.  I don’t care about all the excuses (reasons) I hear; the number one reason for the high prices is greed and crooked corporations (they raise prices because they can – 200% plus increase in CEO compensation over the last 2 or 3 years).  We can return our country (world) to greatness, but we need to get involved or at least be aware.  The best is yet to come…….

Your Money’s Worth

Is it even copper anymore?

It used to be acceptable and almost a compliment to have someone say to you, “A penny for your thoughts?”  Of course that was back when you could buy something for a penny.  While it wasn’t much of a value, it was more value than it is today.  I used to frequently go to a store and if the total of my bill was say $9.56, I would regularly pay with a ten dollar bill and say keep the change and walk away.

That was my way of keeping change out of my pockets that were of questionable value and mostly served to wear out my pockets.  That was my habit, until one day when I ran into the cashier from hell that change me forever.  I was six cents short for the purchase I was making, and I wasn’t allowed to take the product.  Since that time, I must have filled about four - five gallon clear plastic refill drinking water bottles (the kind that you place inverted on your water cooler).  The copper coins go to good use, I allow my granddaughters to share my treasure.

The following is a little lesson about our U.S. Mint and the coins we mostly take for granted, especially with the use of the debit card.

·       The U.S. Mint cut the cost of making the penny by nearly a third over the past two years, but the little copper-coated coin still costs more than a cent to produce.  A new report shows the cost to produce a penny was 1.7 cents in the 2014 fiscal year. That’s down from 2.4 cents in 2011 but still more than face value.  “There are no alternative metal compositions that reduce the manufacturing unit cost of the penny below its face value,” the biennial report to Congress said.

·       The nickel, too, is dead weight for taxpayers. Production costs stood at 8 cents last year, down from 11 cents. The lower cost per coin is largely a result of rising production and reduced metal costs.

·       Other coins turn a profit. A dime costs 3.9 cents to make, and a quarter 9 cents. All together, the Mint made $289.1 million on seigniorage–the difference between the value of the coin and the cost to make it–despite a $90.5 million drag from the penny and nickel.

·       The Mint estimates that switching up the metallic content of coins could save taxpayers $5 million to $57 million a year, though vending, amusement, laundry and other groups with coin operated machines warn that it could cost them billions to reconfigure machinery and make other adjustments needed to accept altered specie, the Mint said. ~ Wall Street Journal – By JEFFREY SPARSHOTT

I realize that what I am about to relate will sound a bit like science fiction, but once upon a time not all that long ago, you could buy a gallon of gasoline by simply putting together 13 of those little copper coins.  You could also buy a McDonald’s Hamburger for 12 pennies, or a Taco Bell crunchy taco for 11 pennies even a 12 ounce pop for 5 pennies.  You could run up a hefty dental bill by over indulging on penny candy.  In the State of Texas you could buy a Texas famous sweet and juicy orange for a penny a piece.  That’s right one hundred for a dollar.  I could go on forever with the value that a penny could add to your life back then.  The best is yet to come…………..

Money’s Worth

Money’s Worth

Wouldn’t it be nice if our monetary system (economy) maintained a constant value proportionate to everything else that we use the money for (car, house, clothes, pharmaceuticals, groceries, utilities, etc.).  For the longest time 50’s and 60’s, you could plan on a spending budget for a year at a time (economic stability). You could plan on spending $150 dollars for the year on gasoline for driving to work (for the whole year!!).  I based that incredible estimate on 25 cents per gallon on gasoline (4 gallons per dollar times $3 dollars per week at approximately 20 miles per gallon).  The breakdown is 240 miles per week, 48 miles per day.  The majority of the population had local jobs either retail, construction, or food processing in town, or on the farm, certainly within much less than a driving distance of 24 miles one way.

Your strongest argument for my figures might be: “those dinosaurs didn’t get no 20 miles per gallon.”  That of course would be my easiest figure to defend:  Those were times B.G (Before Government).  Our cars didn’t have all the anti-pollution regulations and equipment that was later to restrict gas mileage.  Bread, eggs, milk, and meat were also similarly prices month after month.  You could almost take the exact change to the store if you knew what you were going to buy.  Your phone bill was also the same month after month, as was your electricity, gas, and water bill.  I almost forgot most people had a metal barrel in their backyard where they burned their garbage, with minimal tin cans to dispose of because most of the canned goods were in Mason Jars (canned at home).  The way we disposed of the tin cans was to run a string between cans and turn it into a communications toy, or better yet, simply kicked around a can in a game called “Kick-the-Can.”  The best part of all this is no batteries required.  Simply tying a single rope to a tree limb could entertain us year round taking turns playing Tarzan.

Forgive me for getting nostalgic.  I could keep going and write a book instead of a blog post.

While it seems that I got sidetrack consider all the money that we saved by not having electronic toys or a Toys R US or even a Radio Shack (wait, that’s right, we no longer have a Radio Shack).

Back to “Money’s Worth” subject at hand.  Most people that are in my tight little circle of family and friends would describe me with adjectives that are different but similar, examples: sensible, cautious, careful, frugal, calculating, etc.  Bottom line being that at all times in my life I like being prepared especially when going away from my comfort zone (home).  There was a time when five dollars in my pocket made me feel adequately prepared (consider that one dollar’s worth of gas could get me up to 40 miles away and back.  The McDonald’s commercial once it came into existence was that you could get a hamburger, fries and a large coke for a dollar and get change back.  The joke was that there wasn’t much that could go wrong with your car’s engine that you couldn’t fix with some bailing wire (no computers on board or GPS equipment). 

During the following 10 years (70’s) I needed at least 20 dollars in my wallet to feel at ease while in town. By the 90’s I needed at least a one hundred dollar bill in my wallet, and today I wouldn’t go out of town without a wallet full of credit cards (cause I would need a wheel barrel full of money to make me feel comfortable (one night in a decent hotel runs around $150 to $200, a meal for two at a good restaurant easily $70 to $90 dollars followed by a trip to a hamburger joint cause restaurants now a days don’t really feed you (the more expensive the less food).

I don’t like to point fingers and I even try to change the names of my characters to protect the innocent, but this particular target deserves to be called out.

Corporate Greed

• Americans might think they know how bad inequality is, but it turns out they actually have no idea.
• A new study conducted at Harvard Business School found that Americans believe CEOs make roughly 30 times what the average worker makes in the U.S., when in actuality they are making more than 350 times the average worker. "Americans drastically underestimated the gap in actual incomes between CEOs and unskilled workers," the study says.~By Roberto A. Ferdman

I’ll bet you already knew this was the root of our problem.  Stay informed/alert, they are Goliath and we are David.  Goliaths have been cut to size before, remember Enron?  The best is yet to come….

Ageing Challenges

Ageing Challenges

Facts:  We are not created equal.  Life isn’t fair.  If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of my body and mind. Arguably; it’s about quality of life.

The question remains compelling:

• What is wisdom, and how does it play out in individual lives? Most psychologists agree that if you define wisdom as maintaining positive well-being and kindness in the face of challenges, it is one of the most important qualities one can possess to age successfully~ By PHYLLIS KORKKI

For those of you not familiar with my blog; I am expressing my perspective as I have learned from experience.  My purpose for writing (first and foremost, I enjoy it) is to give my readers food for thought.  I don’t believe in making all the mistakes myself, if I can learn from other’s mistakes, I will gladly do it.  I am an expert on my own life and experience, don’t profess to know everything about anything, where others are concerned.

With the ever increasing numbers of participants in the social media, there are many people sharing advice with regard to age and health that most of us should take with a grain of salt.  Something as basic and simple as how to prepare the tastiest peanut butter and jelly sandwich, has the potential of making someone deathly ill, could even prove to be fatal.  Not everyone should eat peanuts or peanut derivatives.  For some obscure reason, I don’t recall ever hearing of such thing growing up, but today we know that allergies to peanuts are a fact.

I often see postings on Facebook by younger people that are not yet afflicted by old age, basically make fun of the elderly, and their age afflictions.  Here is where we are not created equal comes in.  We are all raised different some lacking a formal education make their living by using their bodies (backs and knees) with time the tear and wear on the joints and back will cause disabilities that a person making a living professionally (formally trained as an attorney, or medical professional) will not experience.  On the plus side those back breaking jobs are disappearing quickly as mechanical equipment takes over more and more menial jobs.

Laying pipe (for irrigation, natural gas, telephone or cable etc.) used to be labor intensive, at present most ditch diggers are being replaced by mechanical digging equipment.  Once upon a time a young man or woman just starting in life might get side tracked from a formal education because of the seeming easy money provided by labor intensive jobs.  Today’s labor market offers hamburger flipping jobs to the young, but it shouldn’t side track any one away from college or vocational training.

Choices made when young (back breaking work) affects you in later years when even leisure things like gardening or walking for exercise will be a challenge.  Taking medication for back and joint pain can eventually have worst side effects than the back problems (from serious prescription addiction to kidney problems for excessive use of some over the counter pain meds.).  Again decisions made when young will came back to haunt us later in life.

We are not all predisposed to Alzheimer’s disease, but many of us are, and by the time we find out we are well on our way to it.  I have a favorite saying:  Everything we say and do will come back to us, positive, negative or indifferent, but it will come back to us.  This is where, “if I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of my mind and body,” comes in.  Such things as smoking, alcohol, drugs, not taking the time to prepare yourself for a career, not investing on your retirement, etc., etc. will get you in the end. I realize that as individuals we don’t always make a conscious choice, sometimes it’s a matter of playing the cards life has dealt us.

With regard to the social media posting, I try to be considerate, but once again consideration is in the eye of the beholder, I am sure that somewhere along the way, I have insulted or offended someone.  I promise to try even harder.  The best is yet to come…..

A Balanced Life

A Balanced Life

Life seems like it will last forever up until about the age of 30.  Very few of us have the wisdom this early in life to understand that like in the cartoon, where one character is out playing and criticizing those that are working diligently to prepare for a harsh winter, we too will get caught unprepared.  In life, the harsh winter is also known as the Golden Years (50 years of age and older).  Despite the myth not everyone is headed for a comfortable retirement.  Those that don’t make a special effort to prepare for later in life, will find out (way too late) that time runs out for preparing for a life of comfort and security.

Life ideally is a timeline that can be divided into conflicting priorities that must be met timely in order to achieve some sort of necessary balance.  As you have come to expect from me here comes the disclaimer:  This is my perspective and you are not asked to embrace it, after all “balance, and ideal outcomes,” are in the eye of the beholder.

Just to decide where the priorities start and fade is borderline problematic. At the time that we are going through the life stages we don’t see the importance of the moment.  Hopefully we start with the advantage of solid parenting and loving relationship.  These early years can make your life journey easier or harder.  Some parts of the country/world offer varying levels of educational opportunities, from non-existent to triple a premium (the parent’s income level is a major factor).  Besides the opportunities, we individually need to show enough interest to excel.  Few people get a redo opportunity (most of us get one shot at the brass ring if we are lucky).

Since I am writing a post and not a book I shall condense my thoughts and allow you to arrive at your own conclusions (not that you need my permission).  In my instance and with the benefit of hindsight, I am very fortunate to have made some good and some great decisions.  I did make some missteps that with time and extra effort I was able to almost fully recover from.  I will never know how some of my loved ones were affected by my missteps, but I hope and pray that like me, their lives will turn out great.  Already, I can tell that they are enjoying very (apparently) happy and productive lives.

Like many of us in the world I am the product of a very loving and caring but fractured family.  My parents separated when I was six years old and soon after divorced.  Unlike many who blame most everything on their parent’s divorce, I chose to analyze what I could do different.  Unfortunately it took me two tries to get it right.

Enough for background and now to look at what needs to be balanced.  Education is a tremendous foundation to build on.  The balancing act is more difficult but can still be achieved without the formal education (simply requires much more effort and an element of good fortune).  If children are to be part of life’s formula (crucial for me) than we must provide the best of everything that we can; shelter, nutrition, health care, education, learning activities, love and nurturing, not necessarily in that order.  The meaning of that statement is that our maximum effort needs to be exerted.

Social life outside the home should take a back seat, luxury items for the parents as well.  Dependable safe transportation versus luxury transportation in other words a Ford instead of a BMW (unless you are able to afford it without requiring sacrifice).  No eating out if you must sacrifice elsewhere.  Adequate house in the best neighborhood you can afford (safety).  Wife’s and children’s education is also crucial in the first part of life together.  All this wonderful priorities must be balanced while strengthening your relationship with your spouse or significant other.  

My wife and I offered (paid for) our children the first two years of college for the purpose of giving them a head start (incentive) in the right direction.  After the children leave the house, the next priority is to refocus on strengthening the all-important relationship between the parents, to diligently concentrate on spoiling each other (including, if within the budget and Audi or BMW). 

Ideally during the time of shifting priorities the retirement was also a priority that included a pension and social security while it’s still available.  With a lot of effort and a sprinkling of good fortune the sacrifices will pay off when you need it most.  I’ve always told my children, if you take care of yourselves, your mom and I will take care of each other.  The best is yet to come…..