Social Misfit
Unacceptable Public (Social) Behavior
- Rudeness
(also called impudence or effrontery) is a display of
disrespect by not complying with the social norms or etiquette
of a group or culture. These laws have been established as the essential boundaries
of normally accepted behavior. To be unable or unwilling to align
one's behavior with these laws known to the general population of what is
socially acceptable is to be rude.
- Rudeness "constituted by
deviation from whatever counts as politic in a given social context, is
inherently confrontational and disruptive to social equilibrium"
(Kasper, 1990, p. 208). Rudeness, particularly with respect to
speech, is necessarily confrontational at its core.
- Forms of rudeness include
acting inconsiderate, insensitive, deliberately offensive, and impolite, a faux pas, obscenity,
profanity and violating taboos such as deviancy. In
some cases, an act of rudeness can go so far as to be a crime, for
example, the crime of hate speech.
There is no place for rudeness
This year unlike other recent years I have at least doubled
the number of road trips that we have taken in only the first 6 months. My wife and I have always made our home so enjoyable
that even when we travel we can’t wait to get back home. I know and few people will argue that our
society is headed on a death spiral. By
that, I mean that the quality of manners in our society is quickly becoming almost
non-existent. Those of us that benefited
by parents and grandparents that cared and gave us a proper upbringing usually
ignore rude behavior because of our very own proper manners.
In a recent weekend my wife and I were on an unplanned road
trip and surprise visit to relatives across the State. Everything had been a happy and satisfying
experience, until we decided to make an unscheduled stop at a fast food
restaurant for a pit-stop (read restroom break). Because I was brought up not to take
something for nothing, we decided to buy something so as to be fair. I was standing in line and there was what
appeared to be a kindly white hair old gentleman behind me.
As I usually do with strangers, I turned around and asked him
how his day was going, and he replied just fine thank you. I remember thinking what a nice fella, but
within minutes the real evil man that he was stepped out of the old carcass. He ordered from the cash register next to the
one I was placing my order, and I remember listening in on his order. He ordered a basic sandwich with nothing to
drink. Yet when his order came he
started yelling that the order didn’t include his chocolate milk. The employee, explained that he (the
customer) had not ordered anything to drink.
The old man kept raising his voice and asking for the employee
to get him his chocolate milk and to give him coupons for three free
meals. When the employee wouldn’t
comply, the old man asked to talk to the manager, and get me my three free meal
coupons. The employee responded that he
was the manager. The old man started
making racial slurs (the manager was a minority, and customer wasn’t), and
saying he was going to call the district manager to complain. By now the manager was really being accosted by
this mean spirited customer who obviously had an agenda when he walked into the
restaurant.
While this confusing scene was developing, the customer took
his order and a large bag that had just been placed on the counter filled with
another customer’s order. The horrible
customer kept yelling as he made his way to the door. I heard the manager say what are you doing? Now
you are going to steal someone else’s food! The place was filled with traveler
type customers that were obviously of parent and grandparent age. The look of disbelief was on every single
person’s face. One customer finally
yelled at the customer (crook), “way to go man, I suppose you are proud of
yourself!” As the customer/crook was
almost out the door, he responded, “Shut up and mind your own business.” I chimed in while he could still here me, “Way
to go guy you should be ashamed of yourself!”
Life doesn't have to imitate art
Some positive outcomes are that: 1) no one joined the
customer/crook in berating the manager, 2) The manager held his ground, 3) the
customer/crook’s effort to be loud and try to embarrass the manager into some
free food, actually backfired, 4) a couple of us participated so that the crowd
could see that the crook didn’t have any support. I actually relayed a message to the manager
that if he needed a witness on his side, I would gladly be that person. Loss
prevention is not only important to the big corporations, it’s also important
to the consumer. If allowed to get out
of control we will be paying $12 for a McDonald’s 89 cent burger.
There is still hope for our society because only a small
percentage of anti-social people are raising Cain in public. If we stick together for what’s right we can
make a difference. I pledge not to stand
by while our society bottoms out. The
best is yet to come….
