Free 2 Day Shipping With Amazon Prime

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Acts of Kindness

Acts of Kindness
I suppose we all had teachers along the way that made an impact in our lives, I know I did.  This story begs to be shared and I will do just that without much more than this humble introduction, enjoy.
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant.
It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper That he got from a grocery bag Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.
On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling* her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.
Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for* believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."
(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Dr. at Iowa Methodist Hospital in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
Warm someone's heart today . . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? Tomorrow? Just "do it".  The best is yet to come….

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Comic Book Based Movies

Original Lone Ranger & Tonto
We often hear sayings that are loaded with wisdom but ignore them because after all they are only based on historical precedence.  Here is a few in case you haven’t heard any lately: 
  • “Leave the world a better place than you found it.” 
  • “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
  • “If you can’t improve on something, leave it alone.”
  • “Don’t ruin a good thing.”
  • “It’s not always about money.”
  • “Something’s can’t be improved.”
Who amongst us likes to admit being wrong.  Not me! But I will admit to being a little over confident and trusting.  Ultimate Hog Heaven, Posted June 12, 2013: http://www.being50.com/2013/06/ultimate-hog-heaven.html
I was exuberant about the promise that the year 2013 was going to be so great for many of my comic book heroes.  Remakes of comic book characters were being advertised as the bigger and better productions for all of the fans from the early years.
 
Well, I will admit that the effort was not only not impressive, but in fact a disaster for the most part.  Let start with the Lone Ranger and make comparisons to times gone by:  Johnny Depp and Jay Silverheels one character you could look up to and the other was laughable.  In the original, the main character was the Lone Ranger with Tonto as a very strong second.  In the remake:  the main character is Tonto even if he is supposed to be mentally ill.  The Lone Ranger doesn’t even rate a second or third place in the lineup.  The silver bullet concept of the original series was reduced to one silver bullet period.  The trusty horse Silver hardly rates a mention in the whole movie.  Some images like words, once released can’t ever be undone.  In all honesty I couldn’t differentiate between the Captain Jack Sparrow and Tonto characters.
 
Many of the Comic Book Characters that I grew up with were meant to be taken serious.  Big time money investors in the film industry need to stay true to what the fans want:  They should make up their minds and make comedies or improve on the legends that we grew up with.  Finally as a true Aficionado of the Comic Book Era that I grew up with, I would give this Lone Ranger effort three thumbs down, but I only have two hands.  The best is yet to come……

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Dream World

Dream World
What are dreams?
  • Dreams are successions of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. The content and purpose of dreams are not definitively understood, though they have been a topic of scientific speculation and a subject of philosophical and religious interest throughout recorded history.
  • Dreams can last for a few seconds, or as long as 20 minutes. People are more likely to remember the dream if they are awakened during the REM phase. The average person has three to five dreams per night, but some may have up to seven dreams in one night. The dreams tend to last longer as the night progresses. During a full eight-hour night sleep, most dreams occur in the typical two hours of REM. ~Wikipedia
I find, that in my personal life, dreams are triggered most usually by events that take place within my every day activities or within that area that I may have involvement in.  As an example problems or challenges experienced by my family can affect my dreams.  It’s not unusual for a solution to come to me in a dream.
I assisted one of my daughters yesterday in replacing a car tire that was damaged running over a broken side mirror.  We had no idea that it was damaged by a broken mirror until the tire store told me that they had found the culprit that tore the sidewall of the tire.  Fortunately the tire was new enough that the replacement cost of the tire was a mere $12 dollars (thanks to Road-Hazard Warranty).  I am most often the point man for the family when it comes to matters of cars, or warranties (I am considered a great consumer, and near diplomat).  I consider it typical that one of my dreams last night dealt with vehicle problems.
In my dream I was driving a 36 foot recreational vehicle, and while maneuvering in a Mall’s parking lot, I backed into a small car.  In this dream sequence approximately 2 days lapsed.  I got out of my RV (I don’t own one and have no plans to buy one), and apologized to the individual.  I immediately shared my information, and made a special request.  I explained that my deductible was $1000.00 and that if the damage was within a few hundred dollars, I would prefer to pay cash for his repairs.  The accident was definitely what you would consider a “fender bender.”
The other car owner agreed and we made an appointment to visit a reputable collision repair shop of his choice the next day, and the estimate came in at just under $1000.00.  With the cost determined, I offered to write a check for the agreed amount, and he in turn signed a statement of the agreed upon arrangement releasing me of further liability.  Problem solved.  The funny thing is that, that night I fell asleep after watching the Tonight Show with Jay Leno about five minutes after midnight.  I woke up out of my dream at 12:45 am (forty minutes later and two days had lapsed in my 40 minute dream.
After going back to sleep, I continued on a road trip in the nice new Recreational Vehicle that I don’t own in real life.  By the way, a nice little vacation was enjoyed by all, including my Toy Poodle.  I still don’t understand why I had to be involved in the fender bender, but the reality is that I don’t explain them I just dream them.  The best is yet to come….

Monday, January 6, 2014

Mr. In-Between

Family Responsibility
When I was very young my parents separated and soon after divorced.  However, you would know that if you have been following this Blog for the last year.  See Post “Father and Son Reunion" 5/20/2013: http://www.being50.com/2013/05/father-and-son-reunited.html
All of us if, we are lucky, will have the opportunity to divide our time between spending time with our children, and our parents.  Since this transition, I’ve lost both my parents over ten years ago.  I now spend a lot of effort reaching out and facilitating the together time required to maintain strong family ties.
When our children were babies growing up, I maintained a very busy work schedule.  I suppose that we do what it takes to keep them well fed, clothe, healthy and happy.  Yet I always made quality time for each child and especially tailored to their likes and wants.  One child was into Wrestling (Hulk Hogan), another one was into comic books, another into music, and yet another went to breakfast with me and my best friend every Friday morning (plus sports involvement).  I may not have had all the time in the world, but what there was, was special.
Today with all my children grown up and some with families of their own, I dedicate more of my time to grandchildren, and meeting with each of my children on a regular basis.  Rather than have them do what I did, which was to make my time available to meet with my parents, I once again and still, am flexing my schedule.  I stay in contact with my children, and corner them for a breakfast or lunch, their mother is at work.  Whenever possible we meet for those meals on the weekend so my wife can join us.  Some of this get together efforts include out of town drives, but enjoyable ones.
Don’t let that precious commodity (time or the lack of it) interrupt the family continuity.  At the end of the day nothing lost is more precious than the family unity, and memories made while spending time together.
When my parents passed away, I moved out from being Mr. In-Between, and concentrating all of my time to my immediate family, and friends.  I try to avoid being selfish by not devoting large blocks of time to my personal interests outside of family.  Even the time I spend writing, I do from the comfort of my properly equipped home office.  I often enjoy a road trip (approximately 4 times a year), and some family time visiting siblings in Southern California at least once per year (by air).
 
If you are in good health and able to meet your family (children) better than half way with regards to maintaining communications, I promise you that it will be time well spent.  The best is yet to come…..

Friday, January 3, 2014

Welcome To Being50.com 2

My 1969 Charger R/T

Welcome To Being50.com 2
This post is an update to: Welcome To being50.com, posted February 10, 2013, http://www.being50.com/2013/02/welcome-to-being50com.html.  This post was the second post as I started what I had hoped would be a very long journey into the world of blogging.
In keeping with tradition this is the second post of the beginning of the second calendar year that www.being50.com  is in existence.  My one year anniversary of this Blog will be on February 10, 2014.  I find myself still excited about the project, and particularly proud of the accomplishments at every level.  In a little less than eleven months I have posted 280 times (that is an average of more than 25 times per month or one every 1.2 days).  I couldn’t perform this task for pay, unless I loved it, and I do.  I won’t tell you how many page views I have because you will think that I am bragging, just know that the following of readers is worldwide and includes Russia, China, England, Ireland, Germany, France, Australia, continental USA, Alaska, Hawaii, and Canada, I won’t attempt to mention them all because I will most likely leave somebody out.  USA is the country where most of my followers come from, with China in second place, and Canada within 300 in third place.
Our minds are still the driving force of this blog.  There is much to discuss, and reminisce about: our parents and grandparents, the cars we drove, our music, clothing fashion, our schools, our friends, on and on.  I like to think that we can travel back in time any time we want because the “Time Machine’” sits squarely on our shoulders, and yet I realize that we are not all equally equipped to make those time travel journeys, so join me and I will be happy to be the one element that triggers your memories, and time travel.
The amazing thing about our minds and memories is that we are able to trigger the good memories and fun times, while not dragging out the perhaps negative times that we just as soon keep in the past.  Always remember that through memories you can revisit but we are unable to go back except in our dreams.  Simply think about a favorite time in your past, 20 or 30 minutes before you fall asleep, and you may just learn to visit in your dreams.  I testify to you, that I regularly do.
I extend a formal invitation to all the readers of this blog to visit regularly, and I promise to maintain this blog in a way like few others do.  You will find fresh postings on a variety of subjects, and always respectful and considerate to the readers.  Thank you for joining me on this special project, and best wishes for a Happy New Year 2014!  The best is yet to come……

Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone
People close to me know that I don’t like change for change sake.  I don’t even like necessary change.  I don’t mind change initiated by me, but I have to think long and hard about that.
The comfort of familiarity comes at a cost that we are often not even aware of.  Who in their right mind would think that there is a price to be paid for enjoying the comfort or comforts that you so willingly embrace.  After all costs are most often associated with change, rather than stability, right?
I most often have the latest in computers, cell telephones, iPads, and any other technological advances.  Truth be known those changes are brought about by the desire to have the advantage in the ever changing world of communications and technology.  If the world of technology were to once again become stable (stale-slow) as in the 70’s and 80’s I would be in hog heaven.  The years when the IBM Selectric II typewriter, and Motorola Beeper were the technological wonders of the world for long stretches of time.  You didn’t have to update equipment every six months to keep up with the Joneses.
By surrounding ourselves with familiarity, we are most often creating a protective shield that keeps outsiders out of our circle.  Outsiders are a source of information that keeps us growing as individuals, in a competitive environment.  Our subconscious tendencies are to seek out people that think like us because they reinforce our attitudes, and way of doing things.  Please understand that this is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as we are aware of what we are doing (accomplishing).
 
One can actually compare the above information to someone who is successful but enjoys being surrounded by “yes men.”  Even when these individuals are making bad decisions they are constantly being praised and validated by the “yes men” they surround themselves with.  This environment when sustained for long periods of time can lead to self-destruction of the successful individual(s).  You may not agree with me and that is totally fine, after all my disclaimer as usual is that, this is one humble man’s opinion.
Two famous examples of self-destruction that come to mind: Elvis Presley, and Michael Jackson.  Their entourage (handlers, hangers-on) catered to their every whim, and eventually all their fame, money and popularity couldn’t save them from self-destruction.
There are two popular sayings (practices) that come to mind, that exemplify the subject of this post: “think outside the box,” and encouraging the view of “an outsider looking in.”  If you are comfortable with doing things the same way year in and year out, you are missing out on the most important element to what you are doing and that is the opportunity to: advance; evolve; grow, and thus stay competitive.
Truth be told I still don’t like change but I embrace it cautiously because it is a necessity to stay relevant.  The best is yet to come….

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

It’s The Actuary’s Fault

It’s The Actuary’s Fault
My children (and I have seven of them) have often wondered why everyone and everything seems to be falling apart all around me and I stand strong in midst of turmoil.  I’d be willing to bet that a large number of people don’t even know what an Actuary is or how they affect our everyday life.
An actuary is a business professional who deals with the financial impact of risk and uncertainty. Actuaries provide assessments of financial security systems, with a focus on their complexity, their mathematics, and their mechanisms.
Actuaries mathematically evaluate the probability of events and quantify the contingent outcomes in order to minimize the impacts of financial losses associated with uncertain undesirable events. Since many events, such as death, cannot be avoided, it is helpful to take measures to minimize their financial impact when they occur. These risks can affect both sides of the balance sheet, and require asset management, liability management, and valuation skills. Analytical skills, business knowledge and understanding of human behavior and the vagaries of information systems are required to design and manage programs that control risk
I’ve taken the time to explain to my children the risks that are involved in just doing the simple things that we do every day. Here once more is the key to the “how I avoid or minimize the turmoil that surrounds all of us in everyday life. Actuaries mathematically evaluate the probability of events and quantify the contingent outcomes in order to minimize the impacts of financial losses associated with uncertain undesirable events.
 A very simple and practical example is the following:  When I used to go to work every day (as normal people do), I would come home at the end of the day, park my car and either relax or perform some chores (tasks) around the house.  In all likelihood, unless my wife and I had plans, we wouldn’t touch the cars again until the next day.  With regard to my children, they may drive to work from school or go hang out with friends at the mall, or just go driving around visiting friends.  Even when they came home at the end of the day, they may decide at 9:30 pm that they forgot to buy something they needed the next day for school. 
I don’t know if you are seeing the pattern here: the more they drive, the more exposure they have.  Many times more likely to get a parking or speeding ticket, more likely to get into a car accident, more likely to run out of gas, more likely that their car will breakdown, etc.
If I visit a Casino twice a year, and you visit a Casino three times a week; you are more likely to end up with a gambling addiction, maybe even with your house under foreclosure, or your car repossessed, etc.  You are actually increasing the chances that something negative will happen to you through the process of exposure (repetition).
If you get up and go to the gym (fitness center) at midnight or 4 am to work out in peace (away from the crowded center):  you are running the risk of your car breaking down at a time when you are all alone in the dark empty streets, and worst yet get assaulted, robbed, raped (if you think I’m making reference to women, think again men also get raped).  You also run the risk of having your car vandalized in the empty parking lot. 
I’m not being a spoil sport or doomsayer; have you ever heard anyone you know say, “I didn’t think that could happen to me, or in my neighborhood.”  One of the most common crimes are the crimes of opportunity.  That is the long way to explain why, even when turmoil is all around me, I remain safe to date.  I do play the odds, but I play them to my advantage.  Stay safe.  The best is yet to come…..

Head Above The Clouds

Head Above The Clouds
Any one following this Blog from the start knows that I live in the Northwest by design.  I love having the four mellow season every year.  The summers are perfect and so are the other three seasons.  There are no sinkholes, large earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, or monsoon type rains with flash floods.  What we do have is more than our fair share of cloudy skies and foggy morning at certain times of the year.
Some people suffer from a lack of natural light, and we are talking serious depression here. Others avoid the problem by investing in equipment that recreate natural light illumination. Then there are those like me that are not often affected by lack of sunlight.
A few years back (within the last 10 years), we went through an extra-long period of gray skies that stretched from early fall into almost early spring (with winter sandwiched in-between). I remember that toward the end of that period of time I was at my rope’s end and looking at weather charts to see how far south I would have to travel to get some sunlight. 
After I figured I would have to drive about a thousand miles south to almost Central California, I started to check my schedule for an open weekend.  I couldn’t see the clear schedule any time soon, and I must admit I was beginning to panic.  When I finally found the open weekend I booked a three day trip to Southern California.
To my surprise as soon as the airliner lifted off the ground and within minutes we pierced through the cloud layer and there it was the magnificent warm sun.  Of course I knew this all along, but the lack of direct sunlight for so long had affected my brain and kept me from reasoning.  As common sense as it sounds, what good can it possibly do to rationalize that the sun is just the other side of the clouds if you never get to see it.
That reasoning makes as much sense as knowing that there is plenty of money in circulation, but somehow it doesn’t get to my bank account.  I don’t know how much this information will help you, but if you get to where you get desperate for nice warm sunlight, just take it from me, it’s close by.
Drive or get on a plane and go chase it.  It will do your state of mind lots of good.  It does me, and while you are at it take your golf clubs (if you are an enthusiast) and get in a little practice.  The best is yet to come…

Giving Up On Marriage

Giving Up On Marriage
Is there an age at which we can stop trying to make it work?  Is it proper to bail out as soon as we feel unhappy or should we stay and try a little harder to make it work?  Once the children arrive should we stick around for the sake of the children (applies to either gender)?  Disclaimer: This is one man’s opinion, with no special qualifications other than one early failed marriage, and one very long lasting second effort that has all the makings of a marathon.
In times past the long courtships were the norm (anywhere form 6 months to a year or two), some parents insisted on a certain age for the lady (somewhere between 18 and 21).  Any older than 21 and it seems that every relative was trying to get her introduced and out the door (at least in my culture).  For long term relationship, maturity can’t possibly hurt, but I must say that I have seen more maturity in some 16 year old girls than in some 35 and 40 year old women.
This post comes to mind because a close friend, just told me that his 82 year old father just informed him that he was leaving his wife of some 55 years.  The mother is in her 70, and apparently the reason for the break up is her need to control everything.  I don’t know the couple personally, but I do know two of their sons and they are very quality people, whatever else they did wrong, they at least raised some good children.
As we get on in age we need to be able to either have some control for ourselves or at least the appearance of control.  I am very fortunate that my wife and I believe in a true partnership, and not just lip service.  We also take time to have conversations about more than just fluff.  Our most popular conversations revolve around our children and grandchildren.  I am always trying to convince my wife to add to her wardrobe, because if I don’t say anything she is happy to spend her time and money shopping for the granddaughters.
I can’t imagine walking out of my wife’s life, because we are so intractably interwoven.  As an example, I couldn’t imagine having limited time with my grandchildren, or keeping my little partner (Toy Poodle) away from my wife.  I further wouldn’t want to place our children in a position of taking side between their mother and father.  If something ever were to happen to my wife I couldn’t imagine life without her, she has me way beyond spoiled.
I will try to give a response to the questions I posed in the opening paragraph.  Every situation is different and we shouldn’t judge unless we are being affected.  The best tool to deal with a troubled relationship is communications.  Counseling can be great, but I have seen some pretty bad and as far as I am concerned un-qualified counselors.  The best policy to practice in any case is to not say what you don’t mean (meaning negatively) because once the words come out you can’t take them back.  While a bad comment can be forgiven, it will never be forgotten.
Sticking around if you are unhappy:  Some relationships can be made to work, but some were never meant to be.  If you have taken the time to discuss your feeling and you still want out, remember that it takes the effort and caring of two individuals.  One person might be madly in love, and the other not ready to settle down.  You can’t force anyone to feel the way you do, it has to be natural.  I suppose your can grow into love, but it seldom works.  For the sake of the children, is not reason enough, (keep in mind my qualifications or lack thereof).  Not much hurts as bad as leaving your little ones because you can’t get along with their other parent.  You can however be a responsible non-custodial parent and meet all your obligations.  If you stay around for the children’s sake you will learn to hate your spouse or partner.  No one should ever tell you what to do, you and you alone will suffer (pay) the consequences of your decisions.  The best is yet to come….

Monday, December 30, 2013

Breaking Tradition

Breaking Tradition
Sometimes circumstances control decisions that need to be made.  Two things are usually involved in the decision making process: 1) your heart, and 2) your wallet.  If your heart is in the right place and your wallet is financially adequate, the decision is easy. Go with your heart.
Many years ago as an employer, I preferred to reward my employees with year-end bonuses instead of pay increases.  To be fair, bonuses were performance based, and reviewed by a committee.  The preference for bonuses over pay increases, is that increases simply become a burden on payroll by being ongoing whether you have a great year or a bad year.  If the corporation is having a bad year financially, everyone is made aware during the course of the year, and bonuses are not expected.  Yet if you can still manipulate your financial picture and come through with a bonus you become a hero.
The post about tradition doesn’t involve payroll, but something equally important if not more.  I am not really looking for direction because unfortunately I am the one that has to bite this bullet.  I simply couldn’t help but wonder if there are other people out there in a position similar to mine.
While our family has been drawing names for gift exchanges at Christmas, we (as heads of the clan) have always maintained the tradition of giving every man woman and child in the immediate family a nice gift.  We are fortunate that our family size keeps increasing, and budget for gifts is ever growing.  Unfortunately all our grown children have taken their cue from us, and are also starting to give everyone a nice gift.  No one is complaining but I can’t help but notice that the gifts are ever more expensive. 
No one is skipping any meals over the gift giving, and no one is complaining, but I feel the need to bring it under control.  Since I opted for early retirement, I am the one that is best equipped to make an excuse for cutting back.  I plan to bring the adults over to a meal and discuss the possibility of not only drawing names but adhering to it.  I know that the gesture is a great one, but in reality if everyone kept their money they could spend it on themselves any way they see fit.
Family matters are not easy to settle and sometime the best intentions can be misunderstood. Wish me well, as I plan to bring this to a discussion and solution early in 2014.  In the meantime if you are wrestling with a similar dilemma, and have a better solution let me know how it works out.  The best is yet to come…..