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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Your Effect On Others

What you say and do will come back to you

I’ve said it before and I repeat it every chance I get.  Whatever you say or do today will come back to you, in a positive, negative, or indifferent way, but it will come back to you. Let’s look at some examples; some minor and some extreme; Because I am of the male gender, I will use a male as an example, we all have someone we feel we can trust with information (and that is why I feel that a secret can only be kept by two people if one dies immediately), so you say something negative about your supervisor; your friend shares it with his wife whom he trusts, she tells her best friend, and on and on, and on until it gets back to your supervisor.  One day you get called into the supervisor’s office and you are reprimanded or worst yet, fired.  What you said in confidence just came back to bite you, and the funny thing is you may never really know why you got fired.

Now for the extreme example; a single and available individual can’t decide what to do on Friday evening, he is invited to sporting event by some friends, but he decides to take a rain check and just stay home and relax.  Later that evening, he gets hungry and can’t decide whether to cook or eat out, he flips a coin and going out wins.  While at the favorite local eatery he runs into a young lady coworker, and they share a booth, and maybe order a drink while they wait for their meals.  After the meal they continue having cocktails, bottom line they end up spending the night at her place.  They avoid each other at work, because they are not really anything more than coworkers.  Three months later he gets the news he is going to be a daddy. Dang it, should have gone to the sporting event!

You didn’t only effect your life, and the life of the coworker, but now a young life will become a new branch to the family tree.  Then again a more positive outcome might have been that the two coworkers fell in love, and eventually married and lived happily ever after.  There again all your actions will come back to you in one way or another. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all took just a split second to think about the actions that we are contemplating and how the outcomes may play out?

Here is an example of how a positive or indifferent (depending on your perspective) outcome may play out.  The Red Cross is setting up a couple of information booths at the local mall.  You are one of the volunteers manning one of the booths, and your supervisor’s daughter sees you, and tells her father over dinner.  Monday morning your supervisors drops by your office, and relates that he would be interested in volunteering for the Red Cross, and asks for your help in signing up.  That example could be indifferent or have a very positive effect on how your supervisor sees you.

I must admit that I have pondered in the past, whether I am a good person because I am a good person, or because I am establish in my community, and easily recognizable. The bottom line is that I am community service oriented person, and play well with others.  I also always think about the consequences of my action and sometimes even of my thoughts.

One good habit that has contributed to love and peace in our home, is that both my wife and I believe that once a word leaves your lips it can’t be taken back and no apology will ever erase the damage done.  Even in anger, many words and thoughts must be kept in check.  There is a funny saying that I subscribe to:  It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.  The best is yet to come….

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