Being Grateful

Being Grateful

 
I was raised in such a humble style that appreciating what we got was the biggest part of receiving anything.  My parents taught me that there were no guarantees in life, that every day was a gift.  Whether going to school, going to work or vacation every departure needed to be very nice and memorable because you were never guaranteed a return by either one or both.  My mother came from a commercial fishing family that lost some loved ones at sea, and my father worked as an ambulance driver while working his way through school, so he had seen more than the average person gets to experience in a lifetime.

We were also taught to be respectful of our elders, and to be of service to others.  I remember that as a child of elementary school age, I would walk in a different direction just to help and elderly lady cross the street.  Family members and friends would drop by our house unannounced and they would be invited to stay and join us for our next meal regardless of whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner.  I sometimes wondered if my parents weren’t taken advantage of by their families because of their giving and sharing nature.
Looking back I remember that 60% of the family or friends that visited our home had some kind of problem and were looking for help. 

My parents could always be counted on to assist in any way they could.  They themselves were always self-sufficient, and typical of the times, the man was the wage earner.  My mother was a stay at home housewife.  My father loved her so much that she was actually spoiled by my father.  The following is an excerpt from the book I am writing (working title: East Lincoln):

·       My father was an educated man able to provide the needs, comforts, and even some luxuries for his young family. My mother was a stay at home mom able to provide all the love care and attention of her love and joy (me), I forgot to mention my given name is Armando.  I didn’t know it at the time but we were decently well off.  My mother had hired help around the house, and she maintained a standing appointment for hair and manicure/pedicure.   She definitely was a classic beauty and always looked the part. 

·       As a child you don’t go around bragging about your parents, but I know that whenever I was with them I felt a certain level of confidence and satisfaction at who my parents were.  They never acted as if they were better than anyone else, but I am sure proud of who they were.  They stood out not only for their good looks, but more importantly for their humbleness and kindness.

 

Since my mother and father divorced when I was young, and I was raised by my mother, I dedicated my life to being obedient to my mother, and making her life as easy as I could,  I was grateful for her love, and for never abandoning her children when the going got tough.  By my accomplishments I wanted to show her that her sacrifices were all worthwhile.  I learned from her that when things get tough, that’s the time when your true character comes out, and shines or not.

To this day I dedicate my life to be like my parents, and lead my family by the example they gave me.  The best is yet to come….

Goal Setting

Goal Setting

 

 All journeys (efforts) begin with the first step. 

·       Goal setting involves establishing specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-targeted (S.M.A.R.T ) goals. Work on the theory of goal-setting suggests that an effective tool for making progress is to ensure that participants in a group with a common goal are clearly aware of what is expected from them. On a personal level, setting goals helps people work towards their own objectives. Goal setting features as a major component of personal development literature.

·       It is considered an “open” theory, so as new discoveries are made it is modified. Studies have shown that specific and ambitious goals lead to a higher level of performance than easy or general goals. As long as the individual accepts the goal, has the ability to attain it, and does not have conflicting goals, there is a positive linear relationship between goal difficulty and task performance.

·       Goals are a form of motivation that sets the standard for self-satisfaction with performance. Achieving the goal one has set for oneself is a measure of success, and being able to meet job challenges is a way one measures success in the workplace. It has been said that "Goal setting capitalizes on the human brain's amazing powers: Our brains are problem-solving, goal-achieving machines."

Your goals are best accomplished if you can write them down so you can visualize what you have committed yourself to do.  Throughout my work history and career specifically, I was aware that I had a special ability to write business letters.  Many times, I have gone through my files and revisited communications that I wrote fifteen or twenty years ago, and I was pleasantly surprised that I generated that particular document.

Three or four years ago one of my sons convinced me that I should write a book about my, and my family’s history for the family to have.  He even gave me the gift of an Apple iPad to use for the specific purpose.  Once again I am surprised at how much joy I get out of writing and reliving my life as I write.  The book is well on its way (the working title is: East Lincoln), and should be ready for publishing in the next year or so.

Earlier this year the same son talked me into writing a Blog about life as it happened to me (totally from my perspective).  The key words are “from my perspective.” How can I possibly fear the task, when it all comes from my life’s experience?  The Blog journey began in the second week of February 2013.  My son instructed me to let him know when I got to 20 posting so he could look them over.  Here is the correlation with Goal Setting:  My first goal was to get started, my second goal was to reach 20 postings (the first 20 days I wrote 39 posts).  I use to dream of reaching 100 posts.  In a period of seven months, I went right past 200 posts without event noticing.

I enjoy audiences from USA, China, Canada, Israel, Latvia, Russia and UK,  and a few other countries but these offer the biggest following in that order.  My following will be exceeding 10,000 in the next few days or weeks.

The funny thing is that, this is new territory for me, and a year ago I had no clue that I would be doing this and enjoying it as much as I am.  Ponder a journey, set a goal and aim to achieve it, it can be done, and you can do it!  The best is yet to come….

What Are the Odds?

Can we beat the odds?

 

People much wiser than I have been saying for as long as I can remember:  Our goal in life (future) should be that our children will have a better life than the one we as parents had.  For the longest time that has been an integral part of the American Dream.  The American Dream as I understand it, is to be able to achieve to our maximum ability (be all we can be).  Get as much education as we want, get our desired job, have a successful business, have a spouse and as many kids as we want and can afford.  Have a dream house and a car or boat if that is what we want.  I would hope that is your dream, with slight variation for the varying personal goals.

 

My parents strived to have the American Dream, and they did (even if they were divorced they each succeeded in their own way).  My father provided his family with a very comfortable home and even a vacation home in a resort town by the Pacific Ocean.  My mother and step-father owned and lived in a large farm that had grape vineyards.  My parents early on, and before the divorce, made sacrifices and calculated moves (physical moves- one country to another) so that I could have every possibility of a better education and thus a better future.  I am very grateful for the sacrifices, I have enjoyed a very blessed life that includes education, family, career, retirement, and everything I could possibly want (within reason and through hard work). 

 

I am not writing this to brag, I am addressing the subject because as the titles would indicate; What Are the Odds, that our grandchildren will have a better life than the one their parents or grandparents are enjoying.

 

Here is some food for thought: In my late teens, I could buy a 1965 Chevrolet Impala SS for about $5,000.00.  I know that you can argue that wages were low back then, but I was making close to $400 per month (That gross income per year is close to the cost of the car) while working on the farm.  The new car was attainable.  I just checked out the price of a 2014 Chevrolet Impala SS, the window sticker price was over $54,000 not including the dealership add-ons, and sales tax plus financing (most young adults today can only imagine what making 60K per year might be like).  The way jobs have gone from nice paying fulltime jobs to minimum wage and part time jobs, my grandchildren won’t be able to own the nice cars that his/her granddaddy drove (especially the classic version).  I recently had a conversation about a young lady (family friend) that recently moved to southern California to further her modeling career.  She lives a few miles north of San Diego and lives in close proximity to the beach her lease for a 400 square foot studio apartment is $1200 per month not including utilities.

 

Another family friend recently started his career in dentistry, and while he is earning good money he is facing student loans of over $200,000.  I have great faith in America and our way of life, however, our government is not even making it from paycheck to paycheck. There are more headlines about government shut downs due to budget problems than great economic headlines.  There is the problems in the horizon with rogue countries, nuclear, and chemical weapons, war on terrorism, taxes, on and on. Despite all, that I pointed out, we must keep the faith, and resolve to make adjustments to our present course.  I don’t claim to know the answer, but even a person that is sight challenged can see the problems we are headed for.  The best is yet to come…

 

Tracking Time

Tracking Time

 

 If your life is anything like mine, as you get closer to retirement the only time you really want to track is how many years, months or weeks are left until you go home from the office for the last time.  Beyond that you might want to take a break from watching the calendar.  It will take a while before you reach the point of total or complete separation from being led by your commitments.

 

I was handling my separation project very well, until I just notice how I’ve been lulled back into it without even noticing.  As long as we have children and grandchildren (and are actively involved) we will continue to be driven by a calendar.  This morning I drove one of my granddaughters to school, and immediately set my iPhone alarm for a time in the afternoon, when I will go to the school and pick her up.

 

I am involved enough to be aware of when they have swimming lessons, gymnastics, piano lessons, doctor appointments, birthdays, recitals, on and on.  I’m not taking credit for getting them to all those places after all I’m just grandpa, but because I love them so much, I maintain awareness.  After all I have to discuss with them how their lesson went or how their day went at school or daycare.  My level of involvement includes maintaining a stock of all the important things; popsicles, the favorite cereal, fresh fruit, materials for making a yummy salad, and once again the list goes on.  After all Grandma and grandpa’s home is as important a base as their own homes.

 

There is a major difference between this calendar, and the multiple calendars I maintained during my working days.  The calendars at work paid off in big bucks, but the payoff on this calendar is priceless.  This morning was the second day of school for my second grade granddaughter, and after eating her favorite cereal she told me that her stomach hurt.  I knew that she was acting a bit nervous about going to school, so I told her it was probably just nerves.  She continued to insist that her stomach was hurting.  After making sure that it wasn’t serious and knowing her as well as I do, I reverted to what I used to tell her mother when she was growing up.  “Build a bridge and get over it!”

 

She looked at me for a second, her face lit up, she smiled and said, “I get it, it means build a bridge, and walk over it to get to the other side!”  I gave her a hug and a kiss, and gave her kudos for figuring it out.  I had been saying this to her for about a year and didn’t realize that she didn’t know what it meant.  I have a feeling that she will someday say those exact words to one or all of her children.  This is an example of the rewards that the new calendar pays.  By the way with that moment of discovery her stomach ache went away.  The best is yet to come….

Simple Appreciated Pleasures

Simple Appreciated Pleasures

 

There is a lot to be said for life’s simple pleasures.  When you finally retire and you can establish a calendar schedule on your on terms, you have arrived.  For what seems a lifetime, you are pulled in every which direction, by forces not of your making.  Early on there is college classes, the term paper, the graduation celebration, followed by the arrival of the children etc., etc.  We haven’t even touched on career demands yet.

 

When my babies were of middle school age, at one point or another each called on me to take time from work, so I could volunteer to chaperone for a field trip, or other school projects.  Being a great negotiator, I made my best deals.  I told them that I would take time from work but that sometime in the future, after I retired, I would be calling them at work to ask for some of their time to play golf, or attend a sporting event out of town.  At the time they all agreed, and now it’s payback time.

 

I usually play golf with one of my sons every other week, and share breakfast or lunch at least once a month.  I travel to the big city twice a month to have breakfast with one of my sons or he comes to our turf for the day.  My youngest daughter and her family come over regularly to catch a pay per view sporting event with us around once every two months and more regular visits just to sit down and chat.  My youngest son brings his two daughters to visit regularly, because our whole house is a playground indoor and outdoor.  During the just ended Summer school break the granddaughters spent many afternoons swimming in the backyard or just running through the sprinklers.

 

My oldest son and his family just confirmed his plans to travel across the state to spend Thanksgiving 2013 with us.  He brings his beautiful family that includes 3 granddaughters and 1 great grandson.  My first born daughter, and my fourth born son and I are in the process of firming up travel plans to visit the happiest place on earth at Southern California, other resorts will be visited as well.  For the first time ever there won’t be anyone under the age of 33 on this trip.  My beautiful wife would join us, unfortunately she is still a member of the work force, and will hold the fort until our return.

 

I also have some retired friends that play golf and we get out about once a week at least.  We also share a breakfast or lunch regularly, and occasionally visit the practice range for target practice.  Now that I’ve put it all on black and white, I may have to return to work so I can get some rest.  Here is another simple pleasure, I still find the time to work on the book I am writing, and to continue to feed this blog.  The best is yet to come…..

Accolade Driven Performance

Accolade Driven Performance

 

Are you still in the workforce, or perhaps you still operate your own business?  Well, either way this is for you.  In my lifetime I’ve been fortunate to participate in all sides of the workforce.  I’ve owned my own successful businesses, worked for very large corporations, educational institutions, and Public Sector.  There are positives and negatives in every one of the above mentioned sectors.  However, in this particular instance I am addressing the labor force that is the heart of every one of those sectors.

 

No man is an island, and neither is any successful business enterprise be it private or public.  A successful business is a combination of great administration, excellent business plan execution, and the loyal labor force that makes it all happen.  I’ve often talked about not killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. In this instance and every instance the labor force is that metaphorical goose.

 

It stands to reason that a successful business should be able to compensate their labor force according to their contribution.  It goes without saying that the labor force should also understand that the cash intake is not all profit, and that management takes on financial responsibility to achieve the successful outcome.  So you see, both sides need to see the whole picture and that is why an annual report to the staff is important and not just to the board of directors or in some cases investors.

 

During the annual all staff meetings accolades in place of promotions or pay increases should be bestowed on the staff.  Where finances are not a problem pay is better. Where possible a committee should be assigned to evaluate the plan and execution of the awards to make sure that fairness is in play.  As an employer I always preferred the pay compensation.  In most instances a bonus is preferable to a pay increase for many reasons, the biggest reason being that a pay increase is ongoing year after year, where a bonus is one time and is dependent on the company’s financial success annually.

 

As an employee I could always tell when I was being given a title only promotion to keep me happy.  If the company was solvent and could have given me a pay increase, I would speak up.  My attitude has always been that I can’t eat a title.  Equally important or even more important: always know what you are worth, and remember in negotiations the first person to throw out a number is at a disadvantage.  I remember a time when I was negotiating a personal services contract, and I was hesitant to say the dollars I wanted, and they finally threw out a number that was 10 times higher than what I had in mind.  My response was to keep my joyful reaction in check, followed by, we’ll try that for a year and see how it works out.  Winning!!!!  Sorry, I sounded like Charlie Sheen for a split second.  My bad.  The best is yet to come….

Was It Worth It?

Was It Worth It?

 

Once again the theme of youth and impulsiveness comes up.  Looking back, were you ever there?  Have you ever revisited some of your actions and wondered?  The attitude when I was younger was that time heals all things or in this case, time can be a forgiving factor.

 

In the case of real estate for example, if you pay too much for a property, but yet you hang on to it for fifteen or twenty years, you will still come out ahead.  At least prior to 2008 it was an acceptable (historical) fact that property appreciates through time.  At present properties haven’t recovered the value they were at prior to the real estate bubble crash of 2008.  Another fun fact is that once an event occurs the first time it’s many times more likely to happen again.  I am making reference to the possibility that the real estate market is more likely to make corrections in the future, as it did recently.  You could call that the effect of waiting for the other shoe to drop (again/maybe).

 

Playing the odds with the forgiveness of time seems to or should fade as we get older.  At an older age, whether it be a romance, an investment, or even a career move the time factor doesn’t allow us ample recovery time.  On the other side of the coin, some decisions are made without regard to outcome.  What I mean is that in some instances we are so committed to an action that the outcome good or bad is not the measure of success or failure.  Personally, I don’t have any such examples in my life’s history.  To date all my decisions are carefully calculated for desired outcome.  I have been known to have regrets for actions not taken but "C'est la vie" (French for “That’s Life”).

 

What brought this subject to mind is that, of all things, Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for Governor of California at a time where he was at the peak of his acting career.  During his run as governor he accomplished very little (politically), there was no career ladder (by birth not qualified for the presidency), He had an affair and that ruined his family life, he came out (from politics) too old to pick up where he left off (some question whether he could even act before), but today he is an even bigger caricature as hero type, and thus the question.  Keep in mind that I have no idea what his motives were going in.  Perhaps he accomplished everything he wanted.  His only reward that would make sense to me is that he now has a son, which regardless of how he came about, is a gift to him.

 

I am not by any means anti Arnold, I enjoy his screen efforts, but his decision to enter politics, and reduce his income, in exchange for the challenges offered by political office makes me wonder.  I am at a place in life where given the opportunity to invest my time and hard earned money for a chance to double it or more, is not as inviting as it used to be.

 

In today’s uncertain economy there are still fortunes to be made, but there is a lot to be said for hanging on to what you got.  That goes for every resource you have; your family, your home, your friends, your money, and especially your sanity.  The best is yet to come…

Season Preferences

Season Preferences

 

It’s a well-known fact that variety is the spice of life!  That being said, if you could have your favorite Season (out of four) of the year, which one would it be for year round?  As I have progressed through life, my choices would definitely be spring or summer with a slight lean towards summer.  There are pros and cons for my choices; pros for Spring, I love the sounds of the birds chirping as they return to the area with the nice weather, and the blooming of flowers and leaves on the trees, the warming-up of the weather.  As they say love and romance is in the air.  Cons: Since I live in the Northwest (by choice), I can tolerate but not totally embrace the abundance of rain, and flooding from melting snow (cascades are an hour away - East), the air turbulence due to the various convergence zones coming inland from the Pacific Ocean (another hour away - West), aggravate the pollen issues of Spring and thus allergies.

Pros and cons for summer; I love the hot summer days (70 to 80 degrees) (I’ve been quoted to say that I play golf in the 70’s!  Any hotter and I refuse to go out!) With the nice weather and periodic rain comes lots of yard work (I do hire a landscape service but it costs plenty), we usually reach over 100 degrees 4 or more times (days) on any given summer.  I won’t complain about the cost of staying cool because it is on par with keeping warm in the winter.

My dislike for fall and winter is that during my lifetime career, I had to travel 2,500 miles per month on average.  I crisscrossed over the Cascade Mountain Range every two weeks.  While winter is a short and mild season in the lowlands, my winters were always longer and more intense because of my traveling the Cascades.  It wasn’t unusual to encounter the first snow blizzard of the season in October on the early end and in May on the late end of the season.

Earlier in my life before I became fortunate enough to land the career of a lifetime, I thought winters were cool (no pun intended).  My wife and I enjoyed drinking a cup of hot chocolate while watching the snowflakes come down on our patio (while burning logs in our fire place).  Since I retired early, I guess I should begin to enjoy winters again.  A lifetime of disliking something is hard to break, it seems that my subconscious becomes aware of the changing weather, and goes into withdrawals.   I need to re-educate my subconscious, which I am working on, but it takes time.

Someone, much wiser than I will ever be, gave us four seasons for a reason and I will enjoy each and every one of them; after all some people live in areas of the world where one season or at most two is the only choice they have.  Hot chocolate time is around the corner, hope you are ready for it because here it comes.  The best is yet to come….

Tough Love

Tough Love

 

How many of our youth today are asked or are made to take responsibility for themselves?  I am grateful to my parents especially my mother for making me carry my own weight around the house. I am proud to admit that I am the product of a loving home from parents that like many others divorced during my growing up years.  The growing up years often referred to as the formative years.  The reason I say I am proud to admit it, is because many people that go through life making mistake after mistake often point at divorced parents as the reason for theirs bad choices.

 

As it was, I wasn’t asked who I wanted to live with, no one laid a set of options before me.  When the time for the separation was presented (abruptly as most often happens) my mother made the decision to leave my father and take the children (my older sister and me).  There is something known as Monday morning quarterbacking, and I am glad that I wasn’t given a choice.  I loved both my parents, and I was young enough that I would have been confused if not traumatized to have to decide.

 

All the character traits that I carried (or that carried me) throughout my life can be traced back to the way my mother raised me.  My love, respect, and appreciation for women, was either instilled in me by my mother or grew in me out of the respect and admiration I’ve always had for my mother.  My mother always carried herself before her children with the dual role of mother and father.  She could be strong and strict, while at the same time loving, caring, and considerate.  She always provided above and beyond the needs of our single parent home.

 

I remember growing up and feeling on equal ground with friends that came from a two parent home.  Having been raised in the time that I was, I could safely say that if I was to give a title to the way my mother ruled the roost, that title would have to be Benevolent Dictator.  Our household was definitely not a democracy, but our dictator was very loving and considerate.  I know for a fact that my mother would skip a meal if it meant making me happy by buying me something I wanted or needed.  Had I known that then, I wouldn’t have asked for anything, but I know now that it happened more often than I would like to admit.

 

The way my wife and I raised our family was very similar in that we made our children’s needs a priority, but the sacrifice factor was not the same level (type).  Unlike our parents, our sacrifices were of a different type; like not having the luxury car (settling for a more reasonable model), not going on a European vacation choosing instead to build an extra room to the house for a playroom, and building a playground in our backyard.  Because my boyhood vacations were always hard work instead of fun (see Post: Cotton Fields Back Home – May 27, 2013- http://www.being50.com/2013/05/cotton-fields-back-home.html ) our young children were often treated to visit family in Southern California and of course cousins Mickey, Donald Duck, Goofy, etc., etc.

 

Growing up, however, I was raised to be responsible from a very young age.  I remember waking up in the morning, and making my bed while I waited for my turn at our single bathroom.  When coming home from school, my sister and I would clean dishes, and performed other house chores before settling down to our school homework.  By the time my mother arrived from work, the house chores were taken care of, all she had to do was prepare dinner.  With regard to dinner my mother was a most wonderful cook, and my beautiful wife gives her all the credit in the world.  Proper credit where credit is due, my wife’s cooking is a perfect balance between healthy, and delicious, where my mother’s cooking was nutritious and delicious with emphasis on delicious, and the heck with healthy.

My mother trained me to be respectful to my elders, to open doors for people, to carry my fair share of the workload, to be of service to others, to give until it hurts.  If in fact I’ve been a good equal partner to my wife, I owe it to my upbringing, and directly to my first love, my mother!  The best is yet to come….

 

Road-Trip Aborted

Road-Trip Aborted

 Have you ever started on a road-trip with wonderful expectations, and then something goes terribly wrong?  We did once, and fortunately we escaped the day unscathed.  During the early years of raising our children some 26 years ago, my wife and I decided to take a road trip with our four little ones.  Our children are two years apart, and back then the youngest was two and the oldest almost eight.  We are fortunate to operate our lives as one mind with one plan, and unwavering commitment for the full benefit of our children.

My wife and I think so much alike that somewhere along the way we came to the consensus that when we brought these little children into the world, our focus became raising them happy, healthy, and safe.  Our personal everything became secondary.  I swear we never sat down and talked about it, it was the unspoken commitment (living as one).  Early on we determined that if our children couldn’t go somewhere with us we weren’t going.  We stopped going on vacations alone. Our little ones never spent an overnight even at a grandparent’s house.

This was a special adventure for us, we were going to go on a spur of the moment road trip.  The non-plan was to drive south from the Northwest towards California perhaps as far as Los Angeles (maybe even visit Disneyland) or not, and head home whenever we wanted to.  The plan was so flexible that approximately 30 miles into the trip we made a decision to treat our children to their first ferry ride across the Puget Sound.  I remember like it was yesterday, getting out of the minivan and going up on deck, and feeling the sea air hitting our faces as the ferry cut across the water at a fast pace.  We traveled from Edmonds to Kingston, and drove towards Port Townsend.  We thought of visiting some of the antique shops that the area is famous for.  However, along the way we saw a road sign pointing to a Historical Landmark (Fort Worden), and decided to go check it out.

Fort Worden, along with the heavy batteries of Fort Flagler and Fort Casey, once guarded nautical entrance to Puget Sound. These posts, established in the late 1890s, became the first line of a fortification system designed to prevent a hostile fleet from reaching such targets as the Bremerton Naval Yard and the cities of Seattle, Tacoma and Everett.  Once there the sandy beach was very inviting to a young family that had never (as a family unit) seen the Pacific Ocean.

We parked the minivan and planned to walk the children while holding their little hands along the water line.  We instructed the children not to go near the water on their own, while we prepared them by removing their shoes and socks.  While tending to two of them the six year old made a run for the water.  I didn’t realize that the area, being a shipping channel had an almost immediate drop after about two feet of sandy beach.  Before we realized what happened my baby was drifting submerged away from land.  Without a second thought, I gave an order for everyone to stay put and I dived after my little one.  I prayed for my son safety as I swam after him.  I was at a point where I could reach his feet but I wanted to lift his face out of the water, so against my survival instinct to grab him, I swam closer to him until I could grab him from his waist to lift him out of the water.

 He immediately started coughing, and crying as I swam back to shore holding his upper body out of the water.  I know that I had special help in that instance because I am not that strong of a swimmer.  My son and I had to take a very cold shower at an outdoor location on the beach.  We tried not to make a big thing out of it, but we drove into Port Townsend, had a burger and fries, visited some stores and headed home,  If for no other reason in my existence, I know that I am blessed, and that I am loved, beyond what I probably deserve.  The best is yet to come…