The Silver Lining

The Silver Lining

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always found the Silver Lining on all situations no matter how dire they may be.  If we believe in the All mighty, then we must believe that he wouldn’t paint us into a corner.  No matter what he throws at us, we always have free agency (the ability to make choices).  We can choose between, good and bad or bad and worse, and even good and better.

Whenever I find myself in a less than positive situation (not often) I try to figure out what it is that I can do to improve it or even turn it into a total positive.

I won’t bother you with all the details because right now, even I don’t have all the information that is being generated on my behalf.

I won’t tell you my exact age, because if I did, I may have to do away with you (LOL) but suffice to know that even I am amazed at how great of a life I’ve had and how healthy I’ve been.  I was beginning to think that some day I could just drop dead and people would say but he was so healthy.

Four months ago, I went to the doctor’s office for something totally unrelated to what I’m presently dealing with right now.  My regular physician was not available because I came in with a last-minute appointment, so another physician saw me and during the course of regular examination discovered that I had a heart murmur.  She asked me how long I had the murmur.  I explained that I wasn’t aware of any murmurs.

Since then and in short order, I’ve talked to a cardiologist twice, and a couple of heart surgeons.  I’ve had 3 different tests that help determine that I am strong and healthy not yet showing symptoms but definitely need to take action, if I want to take control of my life, literally.

I’ve said it before and will repeat it again and again.  In life there are two people that you need to stay in contact with (communicate), your doctor, and the Internal revenue agent.  No particular order.

Before I cause any damage to my heart, I need to act, the sooner the better.  As I’ve mentioned before, we have free agency (we can make choices).  I can elect to ignore the problem and ruin my quality of life (maybe even be gone within 4 to five years); I can elect the least intrusive and painful way (shorter history to go by).  I have consulted with my wife and selected the more intrusive way, more painful and longest recovery period.  My selection also has a history dating back to the 1950’s with much better odds of success and longevity.

I’m sharing my situation on this blog for two main reasons: 1- I asked family and friends for prayers without an explanation.  I feel that those that offered prayers deserve a thank you and an explanation. 2- I want every person that follows my blog and FB Page to take care of themselves and listen to their body and medical professionals.  For those of you that are in my age range (whatever that might be), life is even more precious than ever.  I will keep you posted on my progress.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  Stay positive always. I know that the best is yet to come….

Magic of Music

Magic of Music

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people of my generation compare modern music to the music treasures of our times. That the comparison is not favorable to present time music.

I’ve always believed that the arts and especially music, is in the eye of the beholder (in this instance ears of the beholder).  I further believe that there is a difference between love of music and appreciation.  I have the music I love but because of my exposure to the music industry, I have an appreciation for all music up to and including the Australian Didgeridoo, and the Sitar.

Many of us appreciate the Oldies of our time for the musical style, others for the lyrics.  I on the other hand, enjoy the lyrics and style, but because I lived the time when the music was being released , more than anything else I remember what I was doing or in whose company I was when I listened to a particular song, for instance I refer you to the time I first heard the Beatles: http://www.being50.com/2013/02/first-time-i-heard-beatles.html

I also enjoyed many of the original performers at concerts when the new music was being promoted:  The last of the Oldies group that I took my children to see at a concert was the Monkees (80 something).  One of my sons looked over my shoulder as I am writing this post and we started a conversation about how he remembers a helicopter landing some 20 yards away from an open field stage and how the crowd went wild. 

I’m grateful to see that my recollections are supported by other family members.  Another instance of music triggering fond memories. My wife and I went on a double date with my sister and her husband to see the Ventures perform at the Capitol Theater in Yakima WA. Also, in the early 80’s.  After the concert we went to dinner and ran into the band members eating dinner at the same restaurant.  Of course, we took the opportunity to greet them and take pictures with them.

I remember the time I purchased a brand-new Plymouth Fury Sport from the showroom floor, and the first song I heard on the beautiful stereo system was The Beat Goes On, by Sonny and Cher.  I’m telling you, every song comes wrapped in wonderful memories!!  Spend some time thinking about the memories that the oldies bring to your heart and mind.  The best is yet to come…….

Old Dog vs New Tricks

Old Dog vs New Tricks

“you can't teach an old dog new trick.”

Saying said to mean that it is very difficult to teach someone new skills or to change someone's habits or character. ~Cambridge Dictionary

I’ve often said that I tolerate change when necessary for improvement, but never for change sake.  I also embrace the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” adage.

Having explained my philosophy of life in a nutshell, I’m about to turn my firm habits upside down.  Please bear with me and understand that I am not trying to convince you of anything.  Two weeks into this new direction and already I can’t imagine not having tried this much earlier.

I’ve been retired from my career for a while now and my one on one interaction with people is limited to a handful of friends that have stuck together for around 30 years. As you might imagine we have more than a few similarities in our lives.  We are said to be set in our ways. We mostly don’t disagree because many of our differences have been settled early on.

My one lasting influence is and has (seems forever) been my wife.  She isn’t just my wife and friend, but more importantly my oldest most reliable and only partner in business and life.  I had the opportunity and made the decision to retire early, she on the other hand was a bit younger and decided to keep working at her career.

Best to start them young

Here is the rest of the story.  She is still getting out in the work world and learning and sharing information.  She recently came home with information that some people she knows had purchased medical marijuana medication for mundane ailments and were pleasantly surprised that it worked better than some expensive pain medication they had been using.

In an effort at full disclosure:  1) I’ve never used any kind of illegal or recreational drugs, I even avoid prescription and over the counter pain killers at any cost.  I never picked up the habit of smoking cigarettes; first because I felt the 25 cents a pack was ridiculous when as a teenager I was making 80 cents per hour, secondly because I loved participating in school sports, you could be dropped from the team if caught smoking or drinking. 2) we are fortunate that Washington State is a legal marijuana State.

My wife insisted that I try the medication for back pain (the price I pay for a lifetime of daredevil auto and motorcycle sports racing).  I promise you that I was not an easy sell.  I grew up with an image of shady dark alley transactions that people relied on to acquire their illicit supplies.  To be continued.  Look for part 2 to be titled: “Medical Alternatives.”  The best is yet to come……..

Go to Guy

Go to Guy

Go To Guy

The one you go to for advice. Who can turn your sad days into happy days. The one guy that knows all your secrets, that you tell anything and everything to, who protects you and only wants the best for you. The first person you tell your happy and sad news who always is the first one that comes to mind. The friend that you can't wait to talk to because no matter how boring of a day you've had, there's always tons of things to share. This is the friend who takes up the majority of your minutes/texts. Who you cannot see your life without.

You are my rock, my go to guy, the one friend that completes me.

#friendship#bff#gtg#love#admiration

I don’t know about the #admiration but a friend or person that you can depend on is what best describes me. This is especially true if you have membership by way of birthright.

I don’t remember a time in my life when I was not the dependable one.  Whether it was the easy request like pick up some milk on the way home or a request to do the impossible.

For those that don’t know me, I was raised by a single parent, and she was an amazing influence throughout my life and to this very day.  My mother was also a Go to Person.  If she didn’t have the answer to your problem, she always knew someone that could help.

When I was 17 years old and still in high school, a friend of the family confided to my mother that a she had family emergency back home (Mexico).  She attempted various ways to assist them, but the final solution was for me to drive the family of four all the way from the Pacific Northwest to Monterrey Nuevo Leon Mexico. Not many teenagers would go along willingly.  I did for various reasons most predominant is that I’ve always been an obedient son.

Trust me when I say that I felt like Christopher Columbus.  Heading for the first time into the unknown and learning as I went along the way.  The drive south was non-stop in the sense that I only took power naps over a three-day travel schedule.

The real challenge was making the return trip by myself.  At my mother’s insistence I treated myself to one night in a hotel along the way.  I’ve made additonal sacrifices to assist others since that time but none requiring so much personal (physical) sacrifice.

I do have a strong belief that we are here to be of service to others.  There are those that will try to take advantage of a nice person so be aware and discerning.  The best is yet to come…..

Reminiscing vs Reality

Reminiscing vs Reality

I could be way off base and be the only person that is afflicted with this concern for revisiting past acquaintances and random people encountered along the path of life.

I had a medical professional friend that not only was a service provider but also a golf partner.  I enjoyed knowing him for approximately 6 years and I felt that we had an average friendship (above acquaintance level).  I need to quantify what a golf partner is to me.  First off, in life I have had many acquaintances and much more than a couple of handful of friends.  I like to spread the fun and competition of a good round of golf.  So, while my golf tee times are very regular the partners vary from week to week.  A favorite golf partner might join me for a round of 18 holes eight times a year (consider that I might play 20 rounds or more on an average year).

With that disclaimer out of the way, the rest of the story is that my family and I moved across the State in pursuit of a career promotion for myself.  Some twenty years went by before I once again encountered my “friend” when I visited his office for a medical visit.  In my mind I was looking forward to seeing him again and I even imagined a hearty handshake and maybe even an embrace. Didn’t happen.

He entered the examination room, and introduced himself, and proceeded to treat me.  He never recognized my name or even remembered that we had spent time playing golf.  I know that common sense dictates that I should have reminded him.  However, I was so disappointed that, I chose to just forget the history that we shared.

I recon that my reason for writing this post is to try to once and for all put this “friendship” to rest.  I have thought of possible reasons for the lapse in memory but with out more information, I can’t make heads or tails out of my conclusions.

He could literally be having the onset of dementia, he may have had an accident that created a gap in his memory bank, many other possibilities, but while I am loyal to friends and acquaintances, I am not lacking for friendships in my life.  I have my hands full maintaining the circle of friends going.  I can’t help but internally mourn the loss of someone in my life that I thought was a friend.  The best is yet to come….

Time for Reflection

Time for Reflection

What does it mean to take time to reflect?

Taking time to reflect means slowing down enough to stop, enjoy the adventure and figure out what is really important to YOU. Learn what you like and dislike. Do something for fun… for you.

Is it possible to be too smart for your own good?  My answer at this point in my life is, without a doubt.  For some of us, questioning ourselves is unthinkable because it may show a kink in the armor.  All my life I have been so sure of myself that to begin to question my life’s decisions, might show some level of weakness or failure.

However, life has taught me so much, that to reflect on my life periodically is actually a sign of maturity and strength.  In life’s journey we are like a ship at sea.  Just like a ship is affected by the elements, and ocean’s currents, so our lives are affected by things that we are aware of and many that blindside us.  Navigational adjustment is a requirement to arrive at our planned destinations.

Most recently, I have stayed away from posting on this blog because I was in search of me.  Fortunately, one of my discoveries is that I do enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts with you (my readers).  I’ve been contacted by some readers, asking me if everything is alright.  Thank you for asking, I can answer that I’ve never been better.  I am reminded of a dear friend (no longer with us) that used to say, “I’m in great shape, for the shape I’m in!”

Imagine for a moment that I climbed a mountain for the mere purpose of meditating and seeing the world from a different perspective.

In the process, I’ve completed some items from my bucket list. What?  You don’t have one?  Everyone needs a Bucket List!  It doesn’t have to be “the end of Life Bucket List.”

My definition of a bucket list is, a list of items that need to be given priority to track and complete timely (you set the timeline).   See my post on Bucket List:  http://www.being50.com/2013/02/making-bucket-list.html

 My most recent Reflection time has created some unexpected actions in my life going forward.  I have arrived at conclusions and new directions that surprised me (the very person in charge of my journey with God’s Blessings).  Never forget that Choices and Consequences are a package deal.  When making choices keep in mind the possible consequences (otherwise known as paying the Piper).  The best is yet to come……..

Getting off the Merry Go Round

Getting off the Merry Go Round

Definition of merry-go-round for English Language Learners

• : a large round platform that turns around in a circle and has seats and figures of animals (such as horses) on which children sit for a ride
• : a set or series of repeated activities that are quick, confusing, or difficult to leave ~Merriam-Webster

One of the best aspects of my life and possibly the best part, is that while I am organized I still like the element of surprise (wonderment) almost every day.  I don’t embrace change for change sake but I enjoy controlled (planned) change.

Imagine that you love a food so much that you have been known to say that you could eat it every day for the rest of your life.  You most likely don’t mean that but in a moment of excitement it was the thing to say to express your appreciation for the food item.  A similar amount of restraint need to be used in everything that comes as part of your life.

Almost always, there are circumstances where getting on the proverbial merry go round is required.  Examples: to succeed in business or a career, hopping on the corporate merry go round is required.  You can succeed without full and total commitment to the corporate game plan, but the odds are against you.  Getting off the merry go round in any circumstance requires knowing in advance what your destination should be.

The merry go round of life is all inclusive. Other examples are: the commitment to marriage and raising a family.  However, getting off that merry go round can be painful and costly.  You can successfully get off that merry go round by completing your commitment to raising the kids and supporting your spouse, along the way as the family evolves.  Most importantly, let’s not forget that the arrival of the children should only be a temporary interruption to what started as a romance between two people.  After the children leave the nest, the original relationship should be strong and able to pick up where the romance was, when lovingly interrupted. 

Caution:  If you try to get off the merry go round while it’s moving fast, you most likely will end up on your face.  The best is yet to come…..

Life Goes On

You can say 'Life goes on' after mentioning something very sad to indicate that, although people are very upset or affected by it, they have to carry on living normally. ~ Collins Dictionary

The realization that someday we will leave this life and life will go on.  As important of a role that we play within our intricate lives, hopefully all our loved ones will find a way to continue to move forward.

This year has been the worst in my life for loss of loved ones.  Losing just one loved one in any one year is bad enough, but the year is barely at the half way mark and I’ve already had 3 losses that I am aware of.

I was told and do subscribe to the idea that, the older we get the more friends and relatives we will lose because everyone is getting older.  This year losses, however, have nothing to do with aging.  I am grateful that those that are directly under my oversight (wife, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren are safe and healthy).

I don’t like to write about my most personal gains and losses in life, but I feel that this post will help to move on from this very life shattering event.

My family is made up of seven brothers and sisters, life normally dictates that the oldest in the pecking order should go first (expire – die).  Just before the end of June our family lost our youngest member.  My little brother was only 45 and if I had to pick the one member that was most popular and loved, of all seven he would be the one.  He would literally take the shirt off his back to give to someone in need.

The last time that he and I hung out was the year before.  We normally didn’t move in the same social circles because of our age difference.  I do know, and he told me every time he had a chance, that he loved me extra because of all the male children I looked the most like our father.

I am being selfish and writing this post strictly for my own ability to move on.  I just returned from a five day stay in southern California where we attended services and celebrated his too short life.  Because my little brother was such a life of the party in life, His Celebration of Life was very upbeat.  Over 250 people attended his loving goodbye. 

Since we believe that we will see each other again we all have reason to move forward.  So, in fact “Life Goes On,” and because of that, the best is yet to come…….

Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

10 Shocking Statistics About Elderly Falls

·        When an elderly person falls, their hospital stays are almost twice longer than those of     elderly patients who are admitted for any other reason.

·        The risk of falling increases with age and is greater for women than men.

·        Annually, falls are reported by one-third of all people over the age of 65.

·        Two-thirds of those who fall will do so again within six months.

·        Falls are the leading cause of death from injury among people 65 and older.

·        Approximately 9,500 deaths in older Americans are associated with falls each year.

·        More than half of all fatal falls involve people 75 or over.

·        Among people aged 65 to 69, one out of every 200 falls results in a hip fracture. That number increases to one out of every 10 for those aged 85 and older.

·        One-fourth of seniors who fracture a hip from a fall will die within six months of the injury.

·        The most profound effect of falling is the loss of functioning associated with independent living.  ~ by Shell Point Retirement Community

CAUTION!  Don’t try this at home.  At some point, we all reach and cross the line where we are old enough to know better.  That line can be reached through personal experience, common sense, or by someone else’s example.  However, you do reach it, we all must reach it.  I love learning from other’s mistakes because it saves me a lot of pain and suffering.  Not to mention that it makes me look mature and smart.

As I get older, I’ve noticed that every so often I catch myself pushing the envelope.  I am not sure that I am trying to prove that “I still got it,” or perhaps trying to save time.  Since I am retired, I can’t blame my corner cutting on time constraint. 

Just a short list:  I have survived the following unhurt, almost got electrocuted running electrical wire for an addition to our home; survived a rear collision on a vehicle wreck where my car was standing still and the other driver was traveling at approximately 50 mph (should have killed me but it only resulted in a broken back) (I know, I make it sound like a piece of cake).  I almost drowned while swimming with friends in a river at age 11 (I actually went under for the count); I was painting the trim on the exterior of my house while standing on the very top rung of an 8-foot ladder (a wind gust came up and I almost lost my balance), I quickly came to my senses and I called a professional to finish the job.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Well, my wife and I have spent perhaps thousands of dollars over the years in an effort to stay healthy through exercise (gym memberships).  My most recent effort is to transform our large garage into a gym.  We purchased 5 professional workout pieces of equipment, and a hot sauna to complete the ideal workout place.  And now the rest of the story:  No work out place is complete without a descent size screen television to take your mind away from the pain and suffering of a healthy workout.  I was trying to place the tv on top of the sauna but it was about a half inch too big to fit. From on top of the ladder about 4 feet high, I was holding the tv and tried to place it on top a shelf about 30 inches away.  Bottom line is I lost my balance and went backwards from the ladder while still holding the television.  I protected the investment on the tv set keeping it at arm’s length as I went down backwards.  Fortunately, on the way down my elbow knocked over a stack of walk-in carpets that miraculously landed under me and cushioned my fall.

All’s well that ends well, but once again, someone was looking out after me, and I came out unhurt.  I surveyed the area where I landed it, and still don’t know how those carpets ended up under me.  I came within inches of hitting my head on at least three very sharp corners, any of which could have killed me.

I beg you to be very careful in your own personal lives.  If you believe that you can’t afford to have a professional handle your project, ask yourself if you can afford time in the hospital and the medical bills or worst.  I hereby promise to draw on my experience, and the mistakes of others to keep myself safe for my family and friends.  The best is yet to come……..

An Eye for Beauty

Miss Gracie

David Hume's Essays, Moral and Political, 1742, include:

·        "Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.

·        "The person who is widely credited with coining the saying in its current form is Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (née Hamilton), who wrote many books, often under the pseudonym of 'The Duchess'. In Molly Bawn, 1878, there's the line "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", which is the earliest citation that I can find in print.

I could say guilty as charged.  There are many things in my life for which I fell in love at first sight as example my beautiful wife, each one of my children when they were born, followed by my grandchildren.  I’m sure you are beginning to get the picture. 

Until recently, I have not had to pay the price for my indulgence.  To be sure the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” applies to objects as well as individuals, and almost anything of beauty, such as, a clear sky, or a moonlit night.

Three years ago (June 2014) I was having what I consider and average day, and as such I drove my favorite four-legged partner to the groomer.  The day was progressing in such a way that it was not likely to stand out as a special day in a week down the road, let alone for the rest of my life.

When it came time to pick up Theo (toy poodle) from the groomer, I walked in and the first thing I saw was this beautiful little snowball of a puppy.  I remembered asking the groomer, who is this beautiful creation you are working on.  She mentioned that the puppy was a Bichon (breed) being groomed to make her more adoptable by the Animal Shelter.

Without even calling my wife for approval, I said, tell me who the point of contact is for the adoption.  After all the paperwork was properly processed “Gracie” arrived at her new home.  Gracie’s name is derived from my youngest granddaughter’s middle name (Grace) the intended recipient.

The rest of the story is where regrettably, I pay the consequence for falling in love with Gracie the first time I saw her.  Within a year and half, she lost the sight on her right eye (something internally caused it). Even beyond that devastating occurrence she acted normal and continued to be playful and loving.  We spared no expense and took her to the Veterinary and was referred to a dog Ophthalmologist.  I personally declared myself Gracie’s Service Person.

A year later Gracie’s vision on her good eye began to fade and within two months totally failed.  After many more tests including brain scan it was determined that she had one or more brain tumors that would not end well.  My little Gracie eventually passed away (May 23, 2017), from her many illnesses that included diabetes. 

Occasionally, I still shed a tear for the little girl that so affected my life in just a too short span of 3 years.  We all know that life isn’t fair but what did that little beautiful loving dog ever do to deserve her painful short life.  I’ve said it before, “if doggies don’t go to heaven, I want to go where they go.”  It has taken me almost two full months before I could get myself to write about Miss Gracie.  I am only writing about Gracie to place her solidly in my recorded writings.  I can only hope, the best is yet to come…….